Don't close your eyes
by Nepeace
Summary: Third part in the 'Sweet Salvation Series' Warning femmeslash Catherine and Sara are living together, with their love for each other and Lindsey as the centre of their universe. What will happen next?
1. Dreaming away

**Don't close your eyes **

Author: Nepeace aka Angelique

Email: nepeacehetnet.nl

Part: Three, part one is 'Only time could tell', part two is 'Sweet Salvation' and this is part three.

Summary: What happens next in Sara's and Catherine's life?

Rating: R (NC-17 parts can be accessed at my website http: F/F love (femmeslash) and this is the sequel to 'Only time could tell' and 'Sweet Salvation'.

Spoilers: none

Distribution: Just ask, send me an email

Part two has ended about two weeks before I wrote this disclaimer. I loved writing it and once again I want to thank everyone for the lovely and supportive reviews. Thanks, you guys for staying with me. This is the third part in the 'Sweet Salvation series'.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except for Ryan, Janice and Marc. CBS owns the characters of CSI. I don't intend to harm anyone with this story and I would like to add that I have a great appreciation for Jorja Fox and Marg Helgenberger they are both great actresses.

The idea for this story and the other two is copyrighted by me, Nepeace.

Short summary: To refresh your memory

**Sweet Salvation Series**

**Only time could tell**

**Part 1**

Sara and Catherine work together on a case involving one survivor of a brutally killed family. The only survivor is a little three year old boy. The perp is afraid that the boy, Ryan, might be able to identify him and he wants to finish what he started problem is that he can't find Ryan. And that is why he takes Sara away from them because she will be able to tell him where Ryan is. Sara refuses to give up the little boys hiding place and gets brutally beaten and injured by the perp. Eventually the perp gives up and releases Sara, due to her injuries Catherine offers to take her in and take care of her. They get to know each other, better then they did in the years before. And they fell in love resulting a relationship, and Sara never goes back to her old apartment.

**Sweet Salvation**

**Part 2**

Catherine and Sara are living together as a couple, they are happier then they ever could have been. Sara is finally able to give into her love and sells her old apartment (that she was still holding onto). Due to their relationship a lot of things change, not only in their personal lives but also in her characters. Sara is more open about her personal life and has a real personal life. She's not the workaholic that she used to be, and loves to spend her time with her new family. Along the way you find out a lot of details from her past which explain why she became that closed up person in the first place.

**Don't close your eyes**

**Dreaming away**

**Chapter 1**

The sound of the waves breaking on the shore was all I could hear along with the call of a lonely bird. The sun shone warm on my skin, while a soft breeze cooled my skin.

I watched the sunset while I had my arms wrapped around Catherine's small frame. The warm wind blew her hair into my face and I could smell the scent that was distinctively hers. The sand under my bare feet was still warm from the sun that shone on it all day long. We had been walking through this marvellous city all day and decided to watch the sunset on the beach.

"Since I met you nothing is the same anymore. Everything changed, even the smallest things."

"Yes I know, nothing will ever be the way it used to be…" Catherine said while she turned around in my arms and rested her head against my shoulder. "But I love it… it's better then I ever imagined."

"Me too..." Catherine smiled, that beautiful and blinding smile. That smile that still gives me butterflies whenever I see it. "I don't ever want to go back to the person that I was."

"Well I don't want you to go back there either." Catherine reached up and softly touched my cheek, before she kissed me tenderly.

We stroll down the boulevard hand in hand, until we reach the harbour. Looking out over the sea I know that this is what I wanted all along. This is what I craved for all these years.

I open the hotel room door and let Catherine pass me on her way in. I look at my beautiful wife and can only think about how happy I am. Catherine knows that I am watching her and she sends me a seductive smile. I smile back, she knows that I can't deny her when she smiles like that at me. I close the door behind me as I follow Catherine into our room.

We had been walking through the city all day, and we where both exhausted. I knew that Catherine loved this vacation, but also that she was ready to go back home. She missed Lindsey and they had only talked on the phone for a couple of minutes every day. I smiled at the thought, Catherine had already made me promise that the next vacation we took would be a family vacation.

Tomorrow we would go back to Vegas, back to our normal life, but this time as a married couple. I fell asleep looking at Catherine, my goddess, lying next to me, her chest moving slowly to the rhythm of her breathing.

The phone rang, and we woke up. Catherine picked up the phone and I could hear the voice on the other side of the line telling us that it was time to get up. I smiled at Catherine and gave her a kiss before I went into the bathroom. When I came back from the bathroom Catherine was already packing her suitcase.

"Shower is clear." I said to Catherine before I picked up my suitcase and rearranged my clothes. I added the clothes that were still in the closet. Catherine left the room and went into the bathroom, ten minutes later she emerged from the bath room with her beauty case in her hands. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yep almost, just a couple of things in the bath room." I answered, while I closed my suitcase.

"No need to worry about that, I already packed your things into my beauty case." Catherine sat the beauty case down on the bed next to her suitcase. "The taxi will be here in an hour, we still have time to go to the restaurant to eat something."

"Sounds like a plan, let's go." I replied with a grin.

I was glad when the plane finally landed at McCarran airport. "Solid ground under my feet at long last." I joked while I released the seat belt. Catherine laughed; "It's just another excuse to hold my hand."

"Babe, you know me too well." I reach my arm behind Catherine's back and hug her quickly before we stand up and leave the plane. Minutes later we're waiting for our suitcases to arrive. Catherine is moving from one place to another anxious to see Lindsey. I'm tempted to tell her to go and see Lindsey, but I know that she will wait until we can go together. That's just the way that Catherine is, one of those small reasons why I love her.

We walk through the hallway when we hear someone bang on the glass walls, Catherine turns and sees Lindsey slamming her fist against the wall before she waves frantically when she notices that she has Catherine's attention. Catherine waves back with a big smile on her face.

"Cath, give me your suitcase, I'll be there before you know it." Catherine looks at me with this look in her eyes asking me whether it's really okay. "Really! Go!" I say to reassure her. She whispers a quick thank you and walks off through the hall towards Lindsey and Jenn. I watch Catherine as she leaves. I make my way with the suitcases and reunite with my family ten minutes later.

"Sara!" Lindsey exclaims when she spots me, I had barely enough time to put the suitcases on the ground before I am hit by a lil' blonde tornado.

"Hey sweetie!" I hug Lindsey, as she wraps her arms around me. "I missed you."

Lindsey starts laughing "Yeah right!" Lindsey exploded into a fit of giggles until she was almost unable to breath. "Yeah right," she starts again after a few minutes. "You and mom are in Europe at a Hotel together, just the two of you as a newly wed couple. And still you say that you missed me."

"Lindsey!" Catherine reprimanded her daughter without much luck as she started laughing herself. Apparently Lindsey was on a roll and had been joking ever since she saw her mom.

"Well we seriously missed you Lindsey, we are so used to having you around that we really missed your sense of humour." Catherine laughed at that comment. I hugged Jenn, "Hi Jenn, how are you?"

"I'm fine, how was the honeymoon?" Jenn asked.

"The honeymoon was awesome, I loved every minute of it. We had a wonderful time."

"I am so glad that you two had a great time, and watch the kid she's on a roll." Jenn laughed and warned me. "She's growing up."


	2. Little monster

**Little monster**

**Chapter 2**

Catherine walked up to Jenn and me, holding Lindsey's hand. "Hey Sara, guess what? I got a letter yesterday from that summer camp where I wanted to go this summer. And I can go there, so this summer I'll be away for a couple of weeks. Isn't that neat."

"That's really neat. Sweetie."

"I've been at the camp before and I already know some of the girls that will be there so I know it's going to be really cool."

"Well sweetie, I hope that you have a wonderful summer there. When are you going?" I ask totally out of curiosity.

"Why, are you already making new plans?" Lindsey asks with an innocent smile on her face, looking up at me with those big blue eyes.

"Hey little monster what did you do to that little girl called Lindsey. Is this the treatment that I get because I married your mother?" I ask Lindsey while I tickle her sides, she squeals and begs me to release her. "So are you giving up?" I ask Lindsey before I release her. "Yes, yes! I promise, I'll quit ..."

We finally arrived home, and I sit down on the couch exhausted, there are three suitcases and a pile of clothes waiting in the hall way. But at this moment all I wanted was rest.

"Sara, what do you want for dinner Chinese or Pizza?" Catherine asked from the kitchen.

"Mom, can we have pizza, please?" Lindsey asked before I could even open my mouth to answer Catherine's question.

"Since when did you change your name into Sara?" Catherine asked Lindsey, Jenn laughed when she overheard the conversation.

"Well it would be pretty easy if my name was Sara, that way you could just holler one name when you're mad or when you want us to do something." Lindsey added with a grin on her face and that oh so familiar sparkle in her eyes.

Catherine turned around and looked at Jenn with a mock angry glare on her face. "Jennifer! what the hell did you do to my daughter while I was away?"

"Jennifer?" I laugh when I hear Catherine use Jenn's full name. I always assumed that her name was Jenny. Jennifer never came up in my mind somehow that name didn't seem to fit. I guess that Cath uses Jenn's full name the way that she calls me Sara Sidle or Lindsey, Lindsey Elisabeth Willows when she's mad or upset about something.

"Yes Jennifer, Cath now she knows." Jenn replies in a mock chagrin , Catherine flashes a satisfied grin to her and diverts her look to me. I lean against the counter, I look at Lindsey who's sitting on one of the bar stools next to me. "Pizza?" I ask her, she smiles and nods her head. "Okay pizza it is then. So Jennifer are you eating her tonight or are you going home?" I ask with an innocent smile. Jennifer throws a towel at me.

"Catherine, tell her to stop." Jenn begs looking as if she is on the verge of a breakdown, "and please order me a pizza tonno."

Catherine was finally ready to pick up the phone from it's cradle and orders the pizza's without further interruptions.

The pizzas arrived twenty minutes later; we ate together at the counter in the kitchen. Lindsey was telling us all the things she did in the past two weeks and Catherine answered her questions about our vacation. I listened in silence to all the stories that where told while eating. I loved this part of my new life, just the simple things that made us a family.

Jenn left after we cleaned the dishes, we had left Catherine and Lindsey alone so they could talk for a while and I found the two of them on the couch. Catherine was gazing at her daughter with a smile on her face. Lindsey had fallen asleep resting her head on Catherine's lap. Catherine absently stroked Lindsey's back.

"Is she asleep?" I whisper to Catherine, she doesn't react. I touch her shoulder and she looked up shaking her head as if she was waking up. "You okay?" I asked worried.

"Yeah… yes I am fine." She smiles as she looks up and grabs my hand. "Yes I was just deep in thoughts, she'll be twelve in a few weeks. I can still remember the night that she was born, as if it happened barely a week ago. She's growing up way too fast." Catherine moved her legs, as if she was very uncomfortable. "My leg is asleep from her weight," Catherine smiles at me. "But I don't want to wake her up."

"I'll take her upstairs." I kneel down before Catherine and pick Lindsey up holding her close to me before I stand up. "Be right back…" I whisper to Catherine and walk upstairs. She stretches her leg and nods at me. I carry Lindsey upstairs and put her on her bed, cover her with the blankets and close the door before I walk down the stairs. I step into the kitchen and open one of the cupboards and retrieve two glasses and pick up a bottle of wine from the counter. I pop the cork from the bottle and pour it into the glasses.

I sat down next to Catherine and placed the bottle on the table.

"What's it like?" I asked Catherine.

"What's what like?" She asked a little confused about my question

"When you had Lindsey, what was that like?"

Catherine seemed to be deep in thought, and it took her a minute before she started to talk.

"It was hard, I'd been working as a CSI for about 4 years when I found out that I was pregnant. Of course I was still living with Eddie at that time." She drifted off into her thoughts again, while she told me about her life years ago.

Flashback

I was a dancer, an exotic dancer for years when someone an old friend tried to help me get out of the mess that I was in. I had been dancing since I ran away from home. Eddie took me in, and one night we where high and drunk and well being in Vegas we went to one of the chapels and we got married. It never was a good relationship, he hit me around the room when ever he pleased and he came home high and drunk every night at first I was just as bad as him. I was high all the time and didn't even feel it when he hit me. Being a dancer I worked with make-up all the time and I was able to cover the bruises. I never let anyone know what he did to me.

I worked at this club, dancing every night earning as much money as I could so that I could build up a future for myself. Because I was well aware of the fact that I wouldn't be able to dance all my life. And having no education what so ever, I knew that I would never have the chance to live a normal life. One night while sitting at the bar drinking I met a man, Detective Tadero. We talked for a while and I asked him what his job was like. He talked about his job, and even told me about some cases that he worked on. Once or twice I gave him an idea that he didn't think of and he was able to catch the bad guy. He kept coming back and we talked two, three times a week. He told me how smart I was, and well it was his idea to pick up school, he was sure that I could be so much more if I had an education. I guess it took him a year to convince me, and I made my decision to quit when Stephanie died. She got murdered in the back alley of the club. I thought that I would end up the same way.

I had already quit with the drug and alcohol abuse, one of the side effects about that was that Eddie thought that I wasn't as much fun anymore. No more late night parties until we passed out, from either alcohol of drugs. I started school and finished everything as fast as I could. Before I knew it I graduated and started working for Gil. Of course the money that I made was a lot less then I made as a dancer, which pissed Eddie off even more. He kept beating me; I kept covering the bruises. But Gil, he knew, he knew all along. He tried to talk to me, get me out of my marriage.

End flashback


	3. Blast from the past

**Blast from the past**

**Chapter 3**

I looked at Catherine, kind of shocked. Of course over the years I have heard bits and pieces of her former life. But most of those stories had gone through the department's gossip central. And you can't always believe what they say.

Flashback

Then one day I found out that I was pregnant, I was scared. I don't think I was ever that scared in my life before not even when I stripped for the very first time. It's weird everyone always sees me as confident and strong, there was nothing left. I broke down and didn't know what to do. I kept it a secret for a while, but Eddie found out when he found me in the bathroom puking my guts out morning after morning. So I had to tell him, he was so happy to hear that he was going to be a dad. I thought that things would change but it never did the first weeks things where better. He was lovingly and caring, but soon he changed back into the asshole that he always was. I told Grissom, because of work so that he could make arrangements and he begged me to leave Eddie. He even offered to take me into his house, I told him that Eddie and I where all right, that our marriage was better since I found out that I was pregnant. I knew that he didn't believe me.

And he was right, the first weeks where okay but then everything changed. One night I came early because I was sick, Gil sent me home. I was so relieved when I lay down on my bed; I guess I slept for a while until Eddie came home. He was all doped up and when he came into the bedroom he was furious and I knew that there was something very wrong. Eddie didn't expect me home and he totally lost his mind when he saw me. He was screaming at me that I should have been at work, that we needed the money especially with a baby on the way.

He stepped closer and raised his fist; by coincidence I had brought my gun home. And I still don't know how I did it, but somehow my gun was pointing at him before he reached me. And I told him that I didn't care if he hurt me but that I would kill him if he hurt my baby. He knew that I was serious, and he left. I didn't see him for days and when he finally showed up and he was back to loving and caring. Throughout the whole pregnancy he left me alone more and more, he was probably staying with one of his girlfriends or in a motel somewhere.

Grissom put me on desk duty when I was about four months into the pregnancy. And I quit working at eight months. About two weeks later I woke up early in the morning, I was having some small contractions. Eddie wasn't home as usual and of course nowhere to be found. I think that he was passed out in some cheesy motel. So I did the only logical thing that I could think off.

End flashback

"Cath, don't tell me you called Grissom?"

Catherine nodded her head, "Yes I did, I called him." She replied sipping from her wineglass. "He told me to stay where I was and he would be there as fast as he could. I lived in a house thirty minutes from the labs, he arrived fifteen minutes later." She smiled at the thought. He must have broken every speed limit.

Flasback

When I first woke up I felt a small discomfort from the early contractions, so I tried to reach Eddie several times. But he was nowhere to be found. I guess I tried several times, but I still couldn't reach him, then I tried calling Jenn. Even though I knew that she wouldn't be home. She was out of town, something with her job. So as a last option I called Grissom 'cos I really didn't want to go through this alone. He came into the apartment and told me to relax and that we would be at the hospital soon. He was freaking out totally, he was more nervous then I was. I don't think I've ever seen him fall out of his routine like that after that day. There was nothing left of that quiet and reserved man.

Grissom got us to the hospital without killing us which still strikes me as a miracle. They took me up to the OB GYN unit and sent Grissom out to park the car, somewhere else because he'd parked in the ambulance bay. By the time I was settled into a room they told me that Mr Willows had arrived and I wondered how they found him. Minutes later Grissom entered the room; the nurses just assumed that he was my husband. And Grissom left it that way because he didn't want to leave me.

I never figured Grissom would be a good coach but he talked me through every contraction that hit. He was so sweet, and so determined to stay with me.

End flashback

Catherine smiles at the memory. "He's an extraordinary guy. He didn't have to be there, it wasn't his responsibility but nevertheless he stayed with me. Then a nurse came to check on me and told me that I was almost fully dilated and that she was going to get a doctor. That was the moment that I sent him away, and even though I didn't see him I know that he was pacing around in the waiting area like a true father-to-be."

"Did he see Lindsey that day?" I asked wondering.

"Yes, of course he did, he was there so I let someone get him. You should have seen the look on his face; it was as if he hadn't realized that there would be a baby until he saw Lindsey. The look on his face was priceless." Catherine smile as she remembered the moment that she showed her daughter to Gil.

"Wow, it's like you're talking about someone that I don't know."

Catherine refilled the glasses, and took a sip. "Yeah well now you know why he and I are so close. Gil, Jenn and you are the only people who know the details of what happened back then." Catherine sighed. "There where rumours about Gil and me, but I can assure that nothing ever happened between us. People suspected that Lindsey was Grissom's daughter and not Eddie's, it was hard. But what can you do!"

Life went back to normal faster then anyone could have imagined. We had another day off to get settled and to spend some time with Lindsey before we had to go back to work. But the moment we arrived it was like we never left in the first place. The guys were already in the break room when we arrived. Nick and Warrick where mocking each other behind the game console while Greg was preparing some of his special brew coffee.

Greg turned around to the door when he heard us come in, "Sara, Cath you two look marvellous, this honeymoon must have been awesome, how was your honeymoon?" Warrick and Nick immediately dropped their game pads and where standing right in front of us to give us a big welcome back hug.

"Hi Catherine, so how was the trip?" Warrick asked Catherine while he hugged her.

"It was wonderful, it's beautiful. You should see the pictures, the city was amazing, more beautiful than anywhere else I've ever seen. And with the right person a trip like that is…" her mind drifts away just for a second thinking about the wonderful vacation that they had. "… extra special." She said with a sigh and a happy smile on her face while her eyes rested on me.

"Love you!" I mouthed to Catherine and her smile became even brighter, she looked up and diverted her look to the door behind me. When I turned around I saw Grissom standing there. Smiling while he looked at his team.

"Hello ladies, welcome back!" Grissom came closer and hugged me.

"Thanks, Gris." I let go of him and he briefly hugged Catherine before he turned back to his task. He motioned everyone to sit down and put the files down on the table.

"While you two where gone there where some changes made." Grissom looked at Greg knowing that the silence wouldn't last long and he was right Greg jumped up at the first silence and shouted; "I'm the new CSI-1!" He bounced up and down like a kid on Christmas morning opening that present that he wanted all along.

"What really? That is so cool, Greggo!" I reached out for him and hugged him. "Congrats Greg!"

Catherine congratulated him also, and we all sat back in our seats. My hand was resting on Catherine's knee while we waited for Grissom to continue.

"So we are now looking for a new lab tech so that Greg can concentrate on his job as a CSI-1 with a full 100."Grissom looked at Greg with a frown. He knew that Greg was a good guy but on a daily basis he didn't really understand Greg. "I've got an job interview today with a guy named Jamie Johnson. So I won't be working on a case today. Which brings me to tonight's assignments." He looked down at the assignments slips and thought for a minute before he continued.

"Greg I need you here today, I want your opinion on the new lab tech and I need you to explain all the equipment in the lab." Greg's face drops at the first part of the sentence, but he smiles when he hears his new task. Nick you keep on working on the case that we worked on yesterday, Warrick you still have your case right?" Warrick nodded and held a file folder up.

"I just got the DNA results from Greg when I came in."

"Okay, well I have one new case so I guess I can send the two of you out on it." Catherine took the assignment slip and read it through quickly. Greg leaned towards Nick and whispered something, Nick started to laugh and gave Greg a high five.

"What's funny?" Warrick asked Greg and Nick.

"It would be easier to work if they could keep their hands of off each other." Greg replied with a smug smile covering his face. I pulled my hand away from Catherine's knee as if I had burned it. "Oh you guys you're just so mature." Catherine said as if she was talking to Lindsey, with a honey sweet tone in her voice. "At least I have someone who loves me!" She added mirroring Greg's smug smile.

Nick grabbed his chest and let out an "Ouch!" with a pained expression, Greg's face fell for a second it made him aware once more how lucky Catherine was.

Warrick smiled; "Well Bro, you had that one coming!"

Grissom cleared his throat to gain back the attention. "It's time to work - you can all play after work, okay?" He didn't expect an answer because he just left the room Grissom style before anyone could answer.


	4. Break down the wall

**Break down the wall**

**Chapter 4**

Catherine parked the car in front of our crime scene, a jeweller. Which had obviously been robbed, a car was used to break down the window and par of the wall next to it. The car came through a halt halfway through the window and the perps had used the broken window pane as there point of entry. That was all clear when we arrived; it was the most obvious way to describe the scene.

Brass walked up to the two female CSI's and welcomed them, he shortly asked them how there vacation had been. But he already knew the answer to that question just by looking at them. Their tanned skin, the smiles on their faces told it all. Brass led them towards the store and stopped in the middle of it.

"This case is pretty much self explanatory, and the blanks are filled in by the owner of the store, Mr. Stephanus. He owns this store and he was present when the perps busted the car into the building. The perps used the opening in the window pane as their entry point. They grabbed everything that is expensive, and left the less expensive things behind. Mr. Stephanus was in the back office working on a shipment of diamonds which arrived earlier today.

"Diamonds?" Catherine asked, raising her brow up. I turned around and looked at the scene in front of me. This wasn't the first time that a car busted into a building, this time luckily there wasn't anyone killed. A shiver went up my spine as I thought about the last time that there was a case like this, and instantly that bastard Hank came into my mind. I looked at Catherine, and smiled my life wasn't like that anymore. Everything changed in an instance or so it still seemed, from single and unhappy I went to a married and happy woman. I wouldn't change that for the world.

"I'll be working on the perimeter and the car, okay? " I asked Catherine.

"Okay, sweetie" Catherine mouthed before she continued at a normal tone. "I'll be here with Jim talking to the owner, Mr. Stephanus and then I'll take the backroom and the store."

Brass nodded his head in agreement, before he continued. "Mr. Stephanus is checked out by the paramedics, he was hit in the head with a baseball bat. I have already told him that you would like to talk to him, hear his story before you work on the scene. The paramedics said that luckily for him the blow wasn´t to severe but he might have a minor concussion." Brass explained to Catherine as he led the way to the back of the ambulance.

"Mr. Stephanus, I am Catherine Willows Sidle and that is Sara Sidle we're from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. We are investigating the robbery of your store. Can you tell me what happened?" Catherine asked as she shook Mr. Stephanus hand.

"Please call me, Miguel. I was working in my store, I already send the employees home and closed the store. I was in the back room checking the diamonds when I heard a really loud noise. I got up and ran to the store. When I opened the door I saw the truck and two men came into the store through the window. One man was already in the store. He pointed a gun at me and told me that he wouldn't kill me if I showed him the expensive and unique jewellery."

"Did you tell them?"

"At first I tried to tick them and pointed at some of the display cases but them man said that I shouldn't try to fool him, that is when he hit me. He said that if I tried to do that again that he would kill me. I was afraid, you should understand I have a wife and three kids at home."

"Sir, I mean Miguel, you did the right thing. Don't worry about it." Catherine added, "Well find out who did this."

I grabbed my camera from one of the bags and snapped some pictures of the skit marks on the street. "These are defiantly from another vehicle." I muttered under my breath. I took the measurements of the skit marks with the help of an officer. I thanked him as I took some more pictures.

I stepped closer to the car, making sure that I wasn't compromising any evidence by doing so. I snapped some pictures of the car parts that where scattered around the perimeter. I took pictures for a while and bagged the evidence, approaching the vehicle closer with every part that I picked up. Finally I reached the car, I looked at the damage that it had done to the store when I spotted a small spot at one of the glass shards. Catherine closed the distance between her and me and kneeled down next to me.

"What did you find?" She asked looking at me.

"Apparently someone cut themselves on the glass. Maybe we get a hit on Codis." I showed Catherine the shard. I swabbed the stain with one of my swabs and secured the evidence. I bagged the shard and put it into my kit.

"That's something at least, I have a bunch of fingerprints. But that's not really a surprise with all the glass display cases. " Catherine looked around for a couple of seconds before she turned back. "I better return to the store and finish my work there."

I nodded at Catherine and smiled before she got up and walked back to the store. She opened her kit and snapped on the rubber gloves. I watched her as she silently went back to work, dusting the counter top. I turned back to the car and dusted the car door for prints before I opened it. I quickly processed the car and closed the door, I would do the rest at the garage when we got back at the lab.

The tow truck arrived at the scene and the driver got out. I walked up to him and told him to tow the truck out and drive it to the CSI garage. I watched as the man started his job, I watched until the tow truck drove off with the SUV behind him.

I picked up my kit and walked up to Catherine, she just closed her kit when I arrived. "Cath, are you ready?"

Catherine turned around and looked up at me. "I am almost ready, I have to finish up here and then we can head back to the lab." Catherine sighed, she lifted her hand up and closed her eyes for a second. "I am so tired, and we are only half way through this shift." She said looking down at her watch.

"I know honey, I know …" I whispered back. "Common' I'll help you with the rest of the scene and then we head back to the lab. I am sure that we can leave a little early this morning." I add with a smile.


	5. Process it

**Process it**

**Chapter 5 **

Catherine nodded and I followed her to the back room. We processed the little office and finally we where on our way back to the lab. Catherine parked the car and got out of it I walked around the car to the back and took Catherine into my arms and kissed her. Hoping that no one would see it, even though everyone knew about us I still didn't want to be the topic of the labs gossip machine. "I so wanted to do this all night long." I said to Catherine as I looked into those beautiful blue eyes.

"I know what you mean …" Catherine purred. "You're too damn hot!" Catherine tugged at the bottom of my tank top.

I wanted to reply to Catherine's words but we where interrupted by a deep laugh, as we turned around we saw Warrick leaning against his SUV smiling as he took of his sunglasses. "Hello ladies! " He said with a smug smile on his face. "How's the case going?"

"The case, our case is going just the way it should go. How is your case going?" Catherine asked Warrick.

"I just finished it up actually. But now I have a nice stack of paperwork on my desk to work on so if you need my help by all means don't be shy to ask me." Warrick added with a smile.

"Well we might have something for you. Brass will come by later with the videotapes from our robbery; maybe you can take a look at them with me." Catherine asked him.

"Of course I will help you. Just call me when the tapes arrive and I'll help you." Warrick said as we walked into the building.

I put my kit down on one of the lay out table, and laid out the evidence from the crime scene. I collected the evidence that Greg needed and brought it to him. I knew that he would ask questions, about the vacation and how it's been and all. I try to ignore him but it won't work. He just keeps asking.

"Greg can you page me when you have the results?"

"Nope, I will need some details to trade for my expertise."

"Well you won't get any details from me, but you better give me the results soon." I say to Greg in a mock anger.

Someone behind me clears his throat and I am sure that it is Grissom. "Are there any problems?"

"No, no there aren't I was just asking Sara for some details on her case but she won't give them to me." Greg answers as he shrugs his shoulders.

"No Greg you have to know the difference between your jobs, you can have the details when your working on a case or when someone is teaching you something, but right now we have an interview to do and you are swamped in DNA research as it is." Grissom says to Greg. I am standing with my back to him, having trouble keeping my laughter. I quickly turn around and want to walk out of the small and crowded lab only to find that the exit is blocked by a beautiful darkhaired gal.

Greg launches himself forward in front of me with his hand extended. "Hi I am Greg Sanders, former lab tech and DNA specialist and the new CSI 1." He adds proud when he shakes her hand.

"Well hello Greg Sanders, I´m Joanie James." She smiles at Greg the way that we all smile at him like he is our little brother. I know that he will try to get her to date him, and in a way I am glad because that means that I am not interested anymore to him. But on the other hand I feel compassioned for Joanie.

I extended my hand to Joanie and shook it, "I´m Sara Sidle, one of the CSI´s, nice to meet you and good luck." I say to her before I follow my way out of the DNA lab back to the evidence that I was supossed to work through.

"Hey Cath, what are you doing?" I ask her, as I rest my hand on the small of her back. She leans forward over the lay-out table.

"I´m just looking through the evidence that we collected at the scene. I think that I better start on the fingerprints see if we can get a match. Warrick is going to take a look at the servilance tapes."

"Okay ..." I look down at my watch and see that we still have three hours left of this shift. "If you don´t need me here, then I´ll beter go and check out that car."

I walk towards the door but turn around when I realise something. "Babe, I just brought our evidence to Greg but Grissom called Greg away because of the new lab tech that they where supposed to interview. So it might take a while before processed."

Catherine´s cellphone starts ringing and she picks it up. She listens for a moment and answers a couple of times before she hangs up.

"That was Jim, he´s here with the tapes. So I better go and get Warrick."

"Okay sweetheart, I´ll see you later." I quickly give her a peck on her cheek and turn around.

I enter the garage minutes later dressed in a blue overall. I turn out the lights, the car is parked in the middle of the room. The car was a black Toyota 4Runner, I walked up to the computer and checked the licence plates only to find out that the car had been stolen which of course wasn´t a big surprise.

"Okay, that´s a dead end, let´s process the car." I mumble to myself as I walk around it. I open the door and process the chair and the floor before I start finger printing the steeringwheel and the dashboard. I lift some prints and some fibers from the cars interrior.

The door swings open and Catherine walks into the garage. "Hey babe, I talked to Grissom, I asked him if we could leave a little early. I am having a killer headache and watching at those tapes really didn´t help."

"Are you okay, I´m sure that I have some painkillers in my bag."

"I know, I already took one of those." Catherine´s sighs and massages her temples.

"Are you sure you´re okay?" I ask getting a little worried about Catherine. " I take her hands and bring them down as I pull Catherine close to me. I reach up and massage her temples.

"Don´t worry about me, it´s just an headache, but can we go home." Catherine yawns, and it dawns on me that she looks really tired.

"Cath, I´m going to the locker room for a second. I´ll be right back will you wait in the break room for me?"

Catherine nodds and leaves me behind. I quickly clear the things that I have used and bring the evidence to the evidence vault. Before I walk down the hallway to the locker room.

I turn the key in the lock and open the door. Catherine is leaning against me, still a little sleepy from her nap in the car. She seems really out of it, so I guide her into the house. And after I close the door I lead her up the stairs to our bed room.


	6. Love

**Love**

**Chapter 6**

I wake up early in the afternoon, too early. I look at the clock and see that it is barely two in the afternoon. Catherine stirs in her sleep but given the fact that her breathing is shallow I think that she's still sleeping. I look at Catherine, her face is turned towards me. I love watching her like this, she's so damn beautiful. I lean over and give her a kiss on her cheek. I can stare at her for ever.

Catherine stirs and turns in her sleep, she snuggles against me. I brace her small frame, Catherine smiles and I know that she's awake. I kiss Catherine's neck and she still tries to stay 'asleep'. "I know you're awake, babe. That smile and that blush really give you away, you know?"

"Okay I admit, but revelling in your warmth feels so good." Catherine mumbled with a happy sigh. Catherine rested her arm on my hip. I could feel the heat radiating from her hand to my body. I wanted her, I wanted her now. I lean in and kiss her passionately; our lips are pressed together in a searing kiss. Catherine wraps her hand behind my neck and pulls me with her as she sits up. She moves herself in front of and straddles my lap.

Catherine's hands lift my tank top as she reaches up for my breasts, she cups my breast she gently massages it whiles she covers my face and neck with kisses. "Not so tired after all, aren't you?" I say to Catherine while I return the favour to her.

"Hmm, who was talking about tired, babe?" Catherine moaned between the kisses. Catherine's eyes sparkled as I looked into those beautiful blue orbs. I was mesmerizing in them while my hands rummaged over her body. I lifted her tank top and broke her kiss for a moment when I released her from her tank top. I threw it into the chair that was standing in the corner. I barely got a chance to turn back to Catherine when my own tank top followed.

-

If you would like tp read the NC-17 part of this chapter please enter my website at http: and go to the ' Writings on the wall' section you can find my fanfics there.

-

Catherine emerged from the bathroom dressed in dark blue jeans and a white blouse, looking marvelous as always. I had just chosen dark blue jeans and a dark shirt to match. "Ready to go?" I asked Catherine, she looked in the mirror for a second and nodded.

We walked out to the car and drove to Lindsey's school. I parked the car in front of the school and we got out of the vehicle. I walked around the car and leaned against it, Catherine was standing besides me. The sun shone on her strawberry blonde hair. I grabbed Catherine's hand and pulled her closer, I quickly planted a kiss on her cheek knowing that some parents where looking at us disapproving our behavior. Catherine smiled brightly at me, I knew what she was thinking about.

The school doors opened and the kids came running out. We watched the kids until we saw our little girl, I knew that she would hate it if we call her our little girl but I knew that she was still that little girl to Catherine and me. She came running down the path like a tornado. She came to a halt in front of us, Catherine pulled her closer and gave her a kiss. "Eugh … mom!" Lindsey exclaimed hating it when her mom kissed her in public. "Do you have to do that!"

"Yes sweetie I have to I'm your mom." Catherine answered happily. Lindsey turned to me and rolled her eyes. "Don't kiss me." Lindsey warned me before she gave me a hug.

"So sweetie, hugging is okay but kissing is a big no no?" I asked teasing Lindsey. Lindsey rolled her eyes and walked to the car, she opened the door and got into the SUV.

"Let's go and get some dinner. Where would you like to go?" I ask Catherine.

"That small Italian place where we went a couple of weeks back with the guys." I nodded and smiled.

"Okay let's go there."


	7. Rush hour

**Rush hour**

**Chapter 7**

I opened the door and let my ladies enter the small cozy restaurant. Unlike other places, this small restaurant seemed like a different world when you where used to the Strip and the general look and feel of Las Vegas. Lindsey guided us to a small table in the back of the restaurant. A waiter came and lit the candles on the table and asked if we wanted to order a drink. He handed us the menu's, minutes later he came back and asked what our orders where. He scribbled them down and left again.

Catherine had taken a seat next to me while Lindsey was sitting on the other side of the table. "Sweetheart, how was school?"

"School was okay, I guess." Lindsey answered while she looked at the ice cubes in her glass, pushing them around with her straw. Catherine send me a quick glance before she returned her focus on Lindsey.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Catherine said as she reached over the table and took Lindsey's hand in hers.

"Nothing …"

"Sweetie, can you look at me and say that again. I know that something is wrong." Catherine said to Lindsay, I lay my hand down on Catherine's leg as a comfort. I knew that there wasn't an awful lot that I could do if Lindsey didn't want to talk about it.

"Sweetie, you know that you can tell us anything, we are here for you."

"I know that, it's just that I…" she sighed, and pulled back her hand. "I … ehm, I got an F for my last math test." Lindsey looked down at her hands her face got a deep red color.

"Lindsey, how did that happen. I mean you know that you could have asked for our help on your math if you where having trouble with it." Catherine said concerned.

"Catherine, please calm down. An F is not that bad I can help Lindsey with her math we can fix this." I said to both of them. "Now let's eat and have some fun together, and I will help Lindsey tomorrow with her math. But next time you have to promise us that you'll come to us sooner when you have trouble at school."

"Okay, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you mom." Catherine looked at her daughter and back to me for a second before she reverted her look to Lindsey.

"Sweetie I am not upset because of the F, I am upset because you don't talk to me or Sara when something is wrong. We always used to talk sweetie I miss that."

"I'm sorry mom, I'll talk to any of you if something is wrong."

"It's okay sweetie." Catherine said to Lindsey when the waiter arrived with our meals. He sat the plates down in front of us and left after he wished us a nice dinner. Lindsey seemed relieved now that she had this off her chest. She dug into her pizza as if she hadn't seen a meal in two days.

"Sweetie did Jen forget to give you a decent meal this morning?" I asked Lindsey with a smirk trying to lift the tension. Catherine smiled while she looked at her daughter, she hated that she had to talk to her daughter like that but she knew that Lindsey sometimes needed it.

"I'm just hungry, I can't help it if I'm hungry now can I." Lindsey stated matter-of-factly. Catherine and I burst into laughter while Lindsey looked at us as if we where crazy. She raised her eyebrow while she looked at us, but decided that her pizza was more important. We ate our dinner and talked about all kind of things, we laughed and soon we where all talking to each other with a smile on our face. I waved at the waiter and asked for the bill, he came back within a couple of seconds and I gave handed him the money before we got up and left the restaurant.

We walked back to the car, Catherine's hand was resting in mine. I smiled at her, I still couldn't believe how this woman made me feel and how much changed in such a short time.

Catherine pleaded Lindsey to hurry up as we where already running late. Lindsey was packing her bag while Catherine gathered her belongings that she needed for work. She placed her gun in the holster and picked up her phone and put it in her bag as Lindsey finally came down the stairs.

"I'm ready!" she said as she walked out the door to the parked car.

"Cath, are you ready?" Catherine put on some lipstick and nodded while she rushed out the door. I closed the door behind me and locked it. We drove over to Jenny's house and dropped Lindsey off. Catherine was rushing because we where running late. She hated being late, especially when we where late at work, she knew that the guys would make jokes about us being late.

Catherine stopped the car in front of a traffic light, she was tapping her fingers on the steering wheel while she looked intensely at the light as if she was trying to change it to green. "Babe, the light won't turn green just because you want it to."

Catherine looked at me with an annoyed look on her face, I smiled at her and soon Catherine was laughing too when she saw what she was doing. "Okay, you're right I'm overreacting." Finally we arrived at the CSI labs and Catherine parked the car. We rushed through the hallways but nevertheless we where late, the guys where already in the break room.

Catherine opened the door and walked in right at that moment Greg who was situated with his back to the door turned around with a smirk on his face. "So ladies, was it worth arriving this late at work?" Even though we where late because of our diner and because of Lindsey, Catherine's face turned a darker shade of pink. Greg turned back to the guys when he saw Catherine's reaction smirking, Nick was laughing as well while Warrick tried to hold his laughter. Grissom just looked at Nick and Greg from over his glasses.

Catherine sat down on one of the free chairs and didn't at all look pleased. I closed the door behind me and walked past an unsuspecting Greg. I smacked the back of his head before I made a b-line to the coffee pot. This time Catherine was the one who was laughing along with the guys. "Ouch, Sara!" Greg exclaimed while he rubbed his head. I placed one mug in front of Catherine and sat down next to her.

Grissom didn't pay any attention to Greg or his painful face. He just started his daily routine, by handing out the assignments. "Sara, Catherine you two are still working on yesterday's case right?" Catherine nodded; "Yes we are, Wqarrick was helping us with the surveillance tapes, I don't know what the results on that are yet. And Greg is processing the DNA results, and we have some fingerprints that Jacqui can look at."

"Okay, Nick and I will take the new case, Warrick you can help them but if a new case comes in I want you to take it okay?" Warrick nodded at Grissom's question.

"Well there is some news, Greg and I had a talk with our new DNA technician. Her name is Joanie James and Greg will be working with her this week. Helping her out and showing her the machines and all. After that he will become a CSI 1 fulltime. Joanie is in my office at this moment so I will go down there and get her, I want her to meet you all."

Grissom stood up and went down the hall to his office, he returned minutes later with Joanie.

"Joanie this is our team of CSI's of course you already know Greg Sanders our new CSI 1, Sara Sidle CSI 3 specialised in material and element analysis, Catherine Willows Sidle CSI 3 specialised in blood spatter analysis, Warrick Brown CSI 3 audio/ visual analysis and Nick Stokes CSI 3 specialised hair and fiber analysis." We all shook her hand and she introduced herself to everyone.

Nick wrapped his arm around Greg; "And my man Greggo here he is specialised in gossip. So if you ever have a secret do not share it with this man!" We all laughed at Greg face that dropped when the word gossip came up.

"Nick!" He exclaimed; "what is this bash the new CSi day?"

"Well at least it is better then bash the new lab rat day …" Joanie answered.

"Ow man Grissom even the new ones are picking on me." Greg whined to Grissom, who just pulled up his shoulders at his whine.


	8. Between cases and backrubs

**Between cases and back rubs  
Chapter 8**

I pass the DNA lab, and see Greg in a very animated conversation with Joanie who really looks like she needs to be saved from Greg. I can't imagine what it must be like when you are stuck in a DNA lab with that guy explaining everything to you with no way to escape. I decide to go in and check up on my evidence, before I go to Jacqui to see what she found out. I open the door and I'm greeted by Greg's laughter. He swings around when he hears the door open behind him, and sighs in relieve when he sees me standing there.

"Hi Greg, Joanie." I smiled at them, as I walked over to them. "I hope that he isn't too much of a pain in the ass?" I say to Joanie as I point at Greg.

"Ow common' Sara, I am not 'that' bad!" Greg looks kind of sad, disappointed maybe, because of the jokes that we have been making but then again normally he was the one making the jokes.

"Nah it get's easier when you're used to it, and when you really make clear to him that he really doesn't have a chance with you." I wrap my arm around Greg and pull him close to me. "Actually he's really cute when you get to know him." Greg rolls his eyes at my mocking. Joanie laughs; "You are right Sara, he's really cute!" Greg rolls his eyes and looks at us with a hurt expression on his face.

"Okay, well let's get to work now." I say as I look at Greg. "Do you have the DNA results for my blood sample?"

"Well yeah I have but you have to give me something to compare it to before it can really be of any use."

"Greg, I am aware of that. And I will inform you as soon as I have something new, what can you tell me at this moment?"

"Well besides the fact that this is the blood of a male not much. But Jacqui asked me to tell you that she had some results for you. Have you seen her?" He asks will he hands me the little stack of papers in his hand. I take them over and quickly scan the contents of the pages.

"Thanks, I´ll go and see Jacqui now, Joanie did you meet Jacqui?" I asked the new girl who was standing behind Greg waiting for him.

"No, I don´t think that I have met her."

"Well common´ then I´ll introduce you to our fingerprint specialist, that woman really knows how to solve a puzzle when it includes fingerprints."

Joanie looked at Greg; "We can continue this later, right?"

"Yes, we can, I´ll just work on some cases and when you are ready you can come back here and we can continue the grant tour of the DNA lab." He smiled warmly, he loved the fact that someone asked his permission to leave. Mostly it was him asking those questions especially now that he became a CSI 1 he was the one that had to ask everything.

"Hi Jacqui, I want you to meet Joanie James our new DNA specialist. Greg finally gets his spot as a CSI 1 when Joanie taked over DNA."

"Hi Joanie, it's nice to meet you." Jacqui extends her hand to the tall dark haired female, who looked barely old enough to start college. "I´m Jacqui." I watched as Joanie and Jacqui shook hands.

"Sara, I got a hit on a couple of fingerprints, most weren't really interesting but one of them is. It's one of the fingerprints that you found on the car. It belongs to a guy named Mike Dominguez, also known as Mike D. who has been caught before for almost everything that God forbid and looking at his file he doesn't own this car." Jacqui says as she scans the file, before she hands it to me.

"Thank you, they wore gloves when they where in the store but who knows maybe they didn't when they stole the car." I say as I take the file; "It might be a good idea to check him out. I'll call Brass to arrange a meeting." I say while I wink at Jacqui.

"That is what I am here for. So Joanie," Jacqui said as she turned her attention back to Joanie. "Tell me what do you know about fingerprints?"

"I leave you guys to it. See you two later." I exited the lab in search for Catherine when I passed Warrick in the hallway. "Sara, tell Catherine that I just got another case assigned to me and that I have to leave. I've looked at the tapes but I haven't found anything interesting."

"Okay, I'll tell her see you later."

Catherine has her evidence laid out on the table in front of her, she leans her palms on the table and looks at it intensely. I lean against the doorframe and watch her for a few minutes, she doesn't move she is deeply caught in her the evidence. Thinking about a way to catch these perps, after all we don't have an awful lot of evidence. I look at the beautiful woman in front of me, the woman that is my wife a concept that I still can't believe. The muscles in her back seem tense and she rubs her neck. I close the small distance between us and lay my hands on the tense muscles in her shoulders. I massage the tense muscles with my hands, goose bumps form under my fingers as I though the skin of her neck. Catherine moans as she leans into my touch. "Oh God I really needed that."

"Your muscles are so tense, you really looked like you needed a back rub." I whispered in her ear before I planted a kiss on the curb of her neck.

"Hmm babe, you know exactly what I need. I love you." Catherine said softly to me.

"I love you too, babe." I kiss Catherine's neck again and wrap my arms around her slender frame.

At that moment I hear the unmistakable sound of someone standing behind us. Someone who is making themselves known, someone who draws our attention by clearing his or her throat. I quickly let go of Catherine and turn around, my breath hitches as I see the person who is standing in the doorway. "Fuck!" I mutter under my breath.

Catherine looks up at the moment that the other person made themselves known. "Joanie … I am sorry …" she excused us not sure what she was sorry about.

"Don't be, don't be sorry there is nothing wrong with love. Besides I already knew." Joanie answered with a sincere smile.

"You know, how did you know, was it our gossip central?" I exclaimed, already getting a little mad at Greg, who was know for all the gossip that he spreads.

"She means Greg." Catherine explained Joanie quickly when she looked at us with a curious smile.

"Ow … no it wasn't Greg, don't blame him. I already knew when we where in the break room earlier."

"In the break room, but we where there for five minutes tops."

"True but people who love each other can't hide it, no matter how hard they try you can't hide it for long." Catherine looked intensely at the young woman in front of her. Probably wondering the same things as I was; what was it that gave us away?

Joanie looked back at us, from Catherine to me and back. "It was the way that you talked to each other, and the slight touches and of course the last name not really a common name."

"She could have been my sister-in-law that could explain her name." I say to Joanie matter-of-factly.

"No, she couldn't have been, cause if she was you guys would have one screwed up relationship. No, those looks that you send each other before I came in really said more then a thousand words can say." Joanie answered back matter-of-factly.

Catherine leaned into me and wrapped her arms around me; "You are right, I really love her." She said with a huge grin covering her face.

I was brushing my teeth when I heard Catherine come up the stairs. I looked in the mirror and combed my hands through my hair. Catherine opens the door and smiles at me, I smile back at her through my reflection in the mirror. Catherine's hand rested on my but as she reached around me for her toothbrush. Something that she easily could have reached for if she would move in from the other side of me. But no she had to touch me, I smile at her with smug grin on my face. "Your shameless, sweetheart."

"I know but I also know that you love it!" Catherine says while she applies the toothpaste onto her brush.

"Okay, you got me there, babe." I say as I quickly emerge to the bedroom.

**TBC? **


	9. An unexpected visitor

**An unexpected visitor  
Chapter 9**

I wake up by the sound of my cell phone. I quickly got up when I realised that the annoying sound wasn't part of my dream but part of the real world that was trying to wake me up. I quickly pushed back the blankets and got up Catherine stirred next to me, refusing to wake up. I stumbled through the room and searched for my phone, I finally found it on my belt which was still on my jeans. I flipped the phone open and answered with a simple; "Sidle."

"Sara, this is Janice. I got a question I know that this is pretty late and all but I am sick. I got the flu, and Marc is away for his job. Could you please help me out with Ryan?" Janice was interrupted by a nasty cough. I waited until she was done before I answered her question. "Sara, I wouldn't asked it if it wasn't necessary. I know that you and Catherine are busy with work and all, but well you know the problem with Ryan is his trust in strangers."

"Don't worry I'll be there. Give me an hour tops."

Catherine said up on the bed during my conversation, she was covering her eyes to the harsh sunlight. When I looked at her, I promised Janice that I would be there as soon as possible and disconnected my phone. Catherine looked at me questionably, she knew that whatever was going on couldn't have been about Lindsey because the school would have tried calling on the home phone or at Catherine's own cell phone before calling me. "That was Janice, she asked me if we could take Ryan in for a couple of days, Janice has the flu and Marc is out of town on a business meeting and well I kinda promised her that I'm going to pick up Ryan. Is that okay?" I ask Catherine as I sit down on the bed next to Catherine.

"Sure honey," Catherine reaches up and pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, she places her hand on my cheek, "of course you can pick Ryan up. It's no problem it is just that we have to be at Lindsey school tonight. And you promised her that you would come with me, please don't break that promise."

"I know I'll be there, I won't break any promises. I could never do that to my girl. I better get dressed and pick him up."

"Okay well I just stay in bed for a while. I'll see you when you get back." I lean down and kiss Catherine softly on her lips before I get up, and walk into the bath room.

I knocked on the Janice's door and waited until she would open the door for me. I was surprised when the door opened and the small boy opened the door for me. Janice was standing behind him, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She seriously looked bad, I wasn't sure if I could leave her alone. I picked Ryan up and hugged him; "Hey Sweetie, how are you?"

He wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me; "Hi Sara!" He exclaimed happily, as I followed my way inside the house and closed the door behind me.

"Hi Janice, how are you?" She looked really bad.

"Hi Sara, not too good, but I'll be okay when I can get some sleep. It's just the flu I'll be alright."

Half an hour later I leave Janice behind and take Ryan with me. I put Ryan in the backseat and adjust the belt around his small body before I close the door and walked around the car. I got into the drivers seat and reversed the car onto the street. Ryan waved at Janice who was standing behind the window.

I turned the key in the lock and opened the door, I let Ryan walk past me and closed the door behind me. I put his bag on the floor and called out to Catherine that we where home.

"Ryan do you want anything to drink?"

"Yes please hot chocolate!" He exclaimed, I looked down at him with a strange look.

"How about we make that a normal chocolate, it's already really hot outside and you want hot chocolate?" Ryan looked up at me for a moment contemplating what he should do.

"Okay, cold then…" He answered with a smile. At that moment Catherine came into the kitchen and grabbed Ryan who was standing with his back to her into a hug. The little boy squealed as she picked him up and sat him down on the counter. Ryan was still laughing when Catherine placed him on the counter, she tickled him before she let go and opened the fridge to retrieve the carton of chocolate milk from it.

She placed three mugs on the counter and filled one with chocolate milk before she filled the other two with coffee. She handed Ryan's mug to him, and he drank half of it empty in just one big gulp. He sighed happily when he sat the mug down next to him.

"So Ryan tell me how are you?" I asked the little boy while I sipped from my coffee. Seeing Ryan sitting here in front of me always made me wonder what would have happened if some things in my life would have been different. Of course I knew that if everything in San Francisco would have been different that I wouldn't be here with the woman of my dreams but on the other hand the what ifs still made me wonder. Maybe I would have come down here to investigate the Gribb's case but I probably would have left without ever getting to know these people that I now see as my family. I couldn't stop the train of thought that ran through my brain, my child would have been just as old as Ryan is.

Catherine's arm connected with mine and pulled me back to reality. I looked at her; "Wow where did you go?" she asked me with a smile.

"Nowhere… just thinking!" I mumbled, embarrassed that Catherine had caught me. I felt ashamed like I was keeping a secret, which was a feeling that didn't seem right because Catherine was the only person that really knew my past. But still I couldn't bring this matter up for discussion. I knew that Catherine didn't believe me when I said that it was nothing, but with Ryan here I also knew that she wouldn't ask about it at least not now.

Lindsey came home later that evening she had her last practice and came home to eat before we went back to her school to look at her play.

"Hi Lindsey!" the little boysqueeled when he saw his big friend, he wanted to run over to her but all he got was a trademark Willows deadglare which made him stop in his tracks. I held in my breath when I saw Lindsey glare, I knew how much pain that particular glare can cause.

Lindsey ran up the stairs without saying anything. Catherine wanted to follow her, but I held her back. "Please babe, let me go! I think that I know what's wrong. Please check on Ryan, okay?" I had seen the look that Lindsey gave me, a look of betrayal before she ran up the stairs. Catherine nodded at me, and stepped back into the living room to find Ryan.

I walked up the stairs, I silently knocked on the door. "Linds, can I come in?"

"No you can't! Just leave me alone." She sounded as if she was holding back the tears. My heart breaks when I hear her rejection, I open the door nevertheless and walk into her bed room.

"Sweetie, what's the matter?" I ask her knowing full well what is going on. Lindsey doesn't answer me, she just turns around on her bed facing the wall. I lay my hand down on her shoulder and feel her tense up under my touch.

"Lindsey, sweetie the fact that Ryan is here tonight doesn't change the fact that I promised you to be at your school tonight. I'll be there, I promised you that I would do everything to make you and your mom happy and I am not planning on breaking my promises." I sigh; "Lindsey are you listening to me?"

"When I signed those adoption papers and even before I signed them I told myself that I wouldn´t make any promises to you or your mom that I couldn´t keep. I´ve kept every promise that I made and I have no intention of breaking any." Lindsey turned around her face was tear stained, but a small smile broke across the tears.

"I´m so sorry Sara." Lindsey cried afraid that I was dissapointed in her. "I´ve shouldn´t have doubted you, you´ve never done anything to deserve that." I pulled her close to me and hugged her.

"Don´t worry about it, sweetie. I can take it! But I guess that you scared Ryan with that look that you send him."

"Ow no, I didn´t mean to scare him. I didn´t mean … it´s just that .." Lindsey broke down in tears again.

"What is it, sweetieis there something else bothering you?" I asked Lindsey knowing damn well that there was more to her reaction then she had told me so far.

"I screwed up everything today, I am the worst actor ever. Everything that I could have done went wrong!"

I smile at Lindsey; "Well honey don´t you know that everything that you screwed up this afternoon will can´t go wrong tonight. I am sure that you will do a great job tonight and no matter what happens your mom and I will be really proud at you." Lindsey looks at me intensely thinking about what I just said. Finally she smiles and hugs me; "Thanks Sara!" She exclaims and kisses me on my cheek, "I better get downstairs and apologise to Ryan."


	10. It's never enough

**It's never enough …****  
Chapter 10**

**Catherine's POV**

I let go of Sara's hand and turn around to enter the living room to find Ryan. I look around but I can't see him everywhere, I know that he is probably hiding somewhere. I intensely listen when I finally here the soft sounds of sobs emerging from the kitchen. I follow the sound and walk around the counter when I finally find Ryan sitting on the floor at the far end of the counter. His little body is shaking with every sob, I kneel down in front of him and ruffle through his dark brown hair. "Hey sweetie, what's the matter?"

Ryan lifts his head from up, and looks at me with his big brown eyes. Tears stained his face, as they rolled down his cheeks. I grab a hold of his small hands and pull him up into my embrace. I pick him up and walk around the counter into the living room where I take a seat on the couch.

"She's mad at me, and I don't know what I did wrong."

"She's not really mad at you, she's probably just having a bad day. I am sure that she isn't mad." Ryan looked up at me, as if he wanted to reassure himself. I smiled down at him and pulled him closer, I absently stroked his hair when I heard the door open. Lindsey popped her head around the door and looked into the room.

**Sara's POV**

I listened as Lindsey walked down the stairs. I just sat there on her bed thinking about my life, my life with Catherine and Lindsey. About the way that my life was without them, when I didn't have them I desperately longed for someone who would love me, anyone who would love me. And I finally found that when Catherine and I got together, when I had her love I wanted to be part of her family and I became that part. I became a wife to Catherine and a parent to Lindsey and even though I had more then I ever held possible I still wanted more. It seems as if I can't just be satisfied with the wonderful life that I am having. I bend my head and rest it in my hands, my fingers entangled in my dark long hair. "It's just never enough!" I mumble between my teeth.

I get up and follow Lindsey down the stairs and open the door to the living room. Catherine is sitting there with Ryan on her lap as Lindsey silently talks to Ryan. I can't hear what she's saying and I decide to give them some time before I interrupt them. I retreat unseen to the kitchen and prepare a pot of coffee, and two glasses of juice.

The doorbell rang and Lindsey bounced of the stairs, and opened the door.

"Mom it's Lilly, see you tonight!" She screamed before she slammed the door behind her. I watched as she got into the car before I walked back to the closet and picked out the clothes that I wanted to wear tonight. I decided on a dark blue pair of Jeans and a dark red long sleeve shirt.

Catherine finally emerges from the bath room all dressed up, she looks wonderful dressed in her dark jeans and light blue jacket. "Ryan is watching television downstairs and Lindsey just left, Lilly's mom just picked Lindsey up." I said before I quickly claimed the bath room as mine, I knew that if Catherine decided that she still had something to do in the bath room that I would be the one who would be stuck with even less time in the bath room.

I opened the car door and helped Ryan out of the car, he grabbed my hand and waited until I locked the doors. Catherine waited for us at the back of the car, Ryan looks both ways before he looks up at me. "I think that we can cross the street now." Ryan says before he looks again. Apparently Janice and Marc have been working on safety issues with Ryan.

"Yes, we can cross the street." Catherine said while she wrapped her arm around my back and hooked her thumb in the back pocket of my jeans. I smiled at her and together we crossed the street. We entered the school building in front of us and followed the other parents. We took a seat at the front of the room right at the centre of the stage. Lilly's mom had saved us some seats, Catherine was checking the camera again making sure that she had the tapes and that the battery was loaded. I was sure that she had checked it a thousand times before.

I gesture to Ryan that he can sit down on my lap, he easily settles down and looks at the stage. Finally one of the students came onto the stage and announced the play that the kids would be performing this night. The curtains fell and the play started, Catherine was filming the whole show for Lindsey so that she could see her performance on the television. Ryan bend towards me and whispered softly in my ear; "Where is Lindsey?"

"Sweetie, she'll be right on the stages in a couple of minutes." Ryan turned back watching every move in the stage intensely. He clapped his hands when he finally saw Lindsey on the stage. Catherine looked at our daughter with a proud smile. Like I told Lindsey this afternoon everything went alright this time around, the kids put down a great show.

At the end of the play all the kids came back onto the stage to accept the standing ovation that they received from the parents, siblings and friends. The kid joined hands on the stage and bowed as deep as they cool, the parents smiled happily at the kids and their smiles where returned. The curtains fell and Catherine shut the camera off.

Catherine looked at me and wanted to say something but stopped when she noticed that Ryan had fallen asleep on my lap and not even the noise of all these people had woken him up. I looked down at Ryan and carefully stroked his back. "He seems really out of it!" I said to Catherine.

"Yes I know, well I'll go back there and see where Lindsey is, so that we can go home when she's ready. Simone I'll check on Lilly too they are probably hanging out together anyways." Catherine bends down and kissed me softly before she got up and stroked Ryan's hair.

"Hi Sara, we never really got introduced to each other. I am Simone, Lilly's mom but you already know that I guess."

"Hi Simone, well it is really nice to meet you. Lilly is a really sweet girl."

"Well thank you Sara, you got a sweet kid yourself."

"Thank you too, but you should tell Catherine that, I can hardly take any credit for Lindsey. Catherine alone is responsible for that, I don't really think that those two years that I have been in the picture made a difference." I say with a smile.

"No I mean your son here, he's a real cutie." She said pointing at Ryan.

"Ow no, he's not … he's not my son." At that moment Catherine returned, she sat down next to me.

"Ow sorry, I really thought that he was. He really looks a lot like you that I just assumed that he was your son." Simone felt ashamed for just assuming something that seemed like a hard topic on the women in front of her. Catherine opened her mouth to interrupt but stopped before she said anything. An awkward silence fell among us, no one was sure what to say and all three of us looked up relieved when Lindsey and Lilly came running towards us.

"Mom, mom did you see us, we where good weren't we." Lilly screamed while she ran towards her mother.

"Yes sweetie you where really good." Simone said while she stroked her daughter's hair. "Catherine taped the whole show so maybe you can ask Lindsey if you can watch it some day with her."

"That is so cool, can we watch it together Linds?" Lilly asked Lindsey, while she jumped up and down. That girl seemed to be on a sugar high.

"Yes sure we can watch it together." Lindsey looked at her mother and Sara for approval knowing that they wouldn't make any problems about it. Lindsey sat down on her mother's lab, she looked tired. "Sara you where right this afternoon."

"I told you so didn't I, you did a wonderful job. I'm really proud of you." I said while I hugged Lindsey without waking Ryan up.

"Sweetie, let's go home okay. You really look like you can use some sleep and Ryan is already sleeping." Lindsey just nodded and got up from her mothers lap. I got up and adjusted Ryan in my arms he stirred in his sleep but quickly settled his head on my shoulder and fell back asleep.

**TBC?**  



	11. Trouble shooting

**Trouble shooting  
Chapter 11**

**Catherine's POV**

Sara is driving the car, she is concentrated on the traffic and doesn't notice that I am watching her. I watch her every movement, the way that she intensely watched the other cars, her hands resting on the steering wheel. Every now and then she looks in the rear view mirror, I know that she is watching Lindsey and Ryan I can see it because of the little smile that is playing on her lips.

**Sara's POV**

I was already in bed when Catherine entered the room, she sat down on the bed. "She's finally in bed, she wouldn't stop talking about the play. She is so exited!" Catherine smiles proudly.

"Babe, I don't see why you where having that much trouble to get her in bed, I for instance had Ryan in bed ages ago." I say to my love while I trace my finger over her back. She shudders under my touch, she turns around and launches her pillow at me.

"That is just because that lil' boy was passed out already and all you had to do was keep him awake long enough to get him into his pyjamas." The pillow hits me in the shoulder while I dive away, I laugh when Catherine just looks at me. "Next time you can try to get Lindsey to bed, and I am sure that I can beat you."

"Okay deal, now get under these sheets." I add with a grin to Catherine while I hold up the sheets for Catherine, and place her pillow back on her side of the bed.

"Babe you are so persuasive when you talk like that." Catherine said with a husky voice when she moved under the sheets and adjusted the pillow under her head.

Catherine looked at me, her hand slowly moved over my thigh her nails running over my skin. I leaned down and kissed Catherine slowly while I leaned into her. Catherine's hands rummage over my leg as she pulls my closer to her. She kisses me demanding control over every movement that is made. We only break apart when our need for air gets more important then the desire that we feel for each other.

I woke up early in the morning, too awake to get back to sleep. I lay down on my back, but my sleep wouldn't come back, I toss and turned for minutes which seemed like hours when I realised that my sleep wouldn't come back. I listened to the soft sounds that floated into the room, she soft sounds of the birds and an occasional car that passed by the house. I open my eyes and look at Catherine, she breaths softly in a constant rhythm she is still in a deep sleep. I get up and leave the room, silently closing the door behind me after I picked up my jeans and t-shirt.

I emerge form the bath room minutes later showered and dressed. I make my way to the kitchen en poor some water into the coffeemaker I was just standing there waiting for my coffee. I pour it into my mug and open the back door, I'm standing there for a few minutes blinded by the light from the morning sun. I sit down by the side of the pool.

**Catherine's POV**

"Mom! Mom wake up!" Lindsey's voice demanded while her hands shook my shoulder.

"Linds, I am awake, just give me some time!" I realise that I don't hear Sara, and I stretch my arm onto the cold and empty side of the bed where Sara usually sleeps. "Where is Sara?" I ask Lindsey while I cover my eyes from the harsh daylight. "Why did you wake me up, sweetie?"

"Well, dûh because Sara is sitting in the back yard next to the pool. I was downstairs because I wanted to watch some television when I saw Sara. I opened the door and called out her name but she didn't say anything, she didn't even react. Mom, you didn't have a fight, right?" Lindsey asked with a more concerned look covering her face. "Mom, you're not getting a divorce right." Lindsey pleaded with me.

I shot up from my lying position and looked at my daughter; "What no! Lindsey, no we didn't have a fight and we are defiantly not getting a divorce. Who put that silly idea in your head." I wrap my arms around my daughter and look at her. "No Linds, a divorce is out of the question, no matter what happens." I say to her convincing her, while I try to conceal my own worries.

"Go and get a shower and get dressed, and I'll go downstairs and talk to Sara." I quickly get dressed and check on Ryan, who is still fast asleep before I continue my way to the backyard. I'm standing still in the kitchen and watch Sara for a few seconds. She is just sitting there, staring into the 'distance' that ends by the wooden fence at the end of the lawn. I sigh, I know that something is going on but I am not sure how to address the matter.

"Sweetheart?" I say to her while I put my hand on her shoulder. I sit down next to her; "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I … I couldn't sleep." She stumbles over her own words while she looks at the reflection in the pool.

**Sara's POV **

"You are happy, right?" she asks with an unsteady voice. I sigh, I know that I have to talk to Catherine about my problems but that is easier said then done. I owe her an explanation that is what I promised Catherine when I married her. I promised her that I would always be honest to her. And I am not about to break those promises that I made.

"Yes Catherine, I am happy and I love you more then you can ever imagine." I wrap my arm around Catherine and stroke he side. I pull her closer and kiss her softly. "Babe, I love you don't ever doubt that." I whisper in her ear. Catherine wraps her arms around my middle and holds me closely.

"I love you too." She sighed, still worried but relieved to know that what was going on in Sara's mind didn't affect their love.

**TBC? **


	12. The difficult kind

**AN:** You really need to know what happened in the first part of this story if you want to understand this chapter. It might be confusing otherwise, because it is about Sara's past.

**The difficult kind  
Chapter 12**

"I know that I need to explain this, my behaviour, and I know that I owe you that much but …" I sigh deeply; "I feel so stupid! It's like I am never satisfied with what I have."

"Babe don't feel stupid, just talk to me." Catherine was still holding me, her arms snaked around me and her upper body pressed against mine. Her warmth made me feel save and loved, but still the empty feeling was there.

"I feel as if nothing can satisfy me, when I got one thing I want more. There is always this craving feeling left behind. When I was alone I wanted love, anyone who told me that they love me would have my heart. That is how I ended up with ass holes like Paul and Hank. When I came here and saw you I fell for you, and no matter how you treated me or how bad our fights got I loved you even more." I smiled at the thought; "When we hit it off, when I first kissed you I knew that I wanted it all, I wanted you, I wanted your love and I wanted to be part of your life. Together with you and Lindsey I wanted to be part of a family that I never had. When I married you that was the happiest day of my life and all I've ever wanted. With you and Linds, I got so much more then what I ever could have imagined but still …"

"Babe, you got us, you have all of my heart you do not need to worry about that." Catherine reached her hand up to my face, and tugged a strand of hair behind my ear. Her thumb stroked my cheek while she smiled at me, her lips softly touched mine. I snaked my arms around Catherine and pushed her closer to me.

"Thank you." I whisper into her ear while I take a few minutes to compose myself. After all this time there is one thing that Catherine knows about me and that is that I need to take my time while I tell her all of these personal details. "I know that you love me and I know that I have a family now, trust me I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't sure of that. So don't doubt my feelings or my love for you."

"Sara, you still haven't told me what's bothering you. All I can tell you that might make it easier on you is that we are married for better or for worse. And your problems are mine as well." Catherine's voice is gentle but also demanding an answer. And I know that I am turning circles around the real problem. "Common' sweetheart you can do it." Catherine encourages me, while she pats my knee.

"You know how much I care about Lindsey, and that I really see her as mine, and she is really important to me, as is Ryan for that matter. Ryan he is important to me, he resembles so much, he resembles the rocky start of our relationship. But he also resembles my past and what I've lost but also the love that you can feel for such a small innocent child. When I see him it makes me happy but also sad at the same time, there are always mixed feelings. I used to have that with Lindsey too but in a different way."

"No matter how hard I try, we take Lindsey to the movies or for ice cream. We take Ryan to the ZOO or the park, and we have a great time. But there is always this void in my heart. And when you ask me if I am okay or what's bothering me I want to tell you that I am okay but I know that I am not. And I feel horrible for the way that I feel because I have no reason to feel this way. I can't stop thinking about the what ifs which is stupid cause if I was still living my old life I wouldn't be here. I would still be back in San Francisco. If things would have been different I would also be living a different life with a different family, and I don't want that don't get me wrong." I apologised immediately to Catherine, feeling bad that I had to tell her this.

"Don't apologise it isn't that weird that you are feeling this way. Because you had a life before me as did I. We both have our baggage that we brought into this relationship and we have to respect that from each other. I can not expect from you that you forget everything that happened in the past, Amy and the baby. I can't expect that from you, and I won't." Catherine smiled. "And don't worry because I can't be mad at you for feeling that way. It is obvious that what you want is not your old life back, just some aspects from that old life. I can understand that of course I don't know what it is like when you lose a baby, in a way I can imagine cause of our job and just the thought of losing Lindsey is enough."

"I ehm … I kind of want to talk to you about something, I eh I want to talk to you about children, actually about us having a baby." My mouth is all dry when I ask this question and I close my eyes so that I don't have to watch Catherine's reaction. It will be hard if I see rejection in her eyes, and I am not sure if I can handle the disappointment.

Catherine's hands reached up to my face; "Don't close your eyes, I want you to look at me when I say this to you." I open my eyes and look at Catherine, I am sure that she can feel the racing of my pulse under her hands that are still resting on my chin and neck. "Sara, I want to have a family with you." When I hear her say those words I finally release the air that I had been holding in for the entire time since I asked the question.

"Really?" I asked just to make sure that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

"Yes really, don't be so damn insecure, there really is no need for that." Catherine said to me while she flashed me one of those breath taking smiles. "I've thought about this, and if this is what you want then we can do this.

"Wow!" I couldn't believe what Catherine just said, I was still dazed and confused by all this talking, confessing and sharing. "But wait a minute when did you have time to think about this, you almost instantly said yes."

"Sara honey, you can't keep your secrets from me you should know that by now. You don't have that wall that protects you anymore, I can look into your eyes and I know what you think or feel. To me you are no longer a mystery." Catherine answers my question while she pushes her lips on mine, softly connecting them into a searing kiss.

"But if you knew that, why didn't you talk to me about it?" I asked Catherine.

"Babe, I want you to talk to me about the things that are on your mind, it shouldn't be a guessing game for me. We are in this together and we need to communicate. Especially if this is what you want, there will be a whole lot of talking." Catherine hugged me and kissed my neck; "But right now we are going inside to make something to eat cos' I am starving, and we got two kids to feed." Catherine smiled when she said that, her eyes sparkled happily.

Lindsey and Ryan where sitting on the couch watching some cartoon on television. When Ryan heard the door open he jumped up and came running towards us. "Look what Lindsey made me, peanut butter sandwiches!" he pulled the two slices of bread from each other to show us the peanut butter which was also covering his mouth and cheeks.

"That looks really yummy Ryan." I said to him while I took the sandwich from him, and put it down on the plate before I guided him to the kitchen. I sat him down on the counter and cleaned his face with a wet towel. "Show me your hands?" I said to Ryan, he held up his hands in front of my face. "Yup buddy, we have to clean them too!" I say while I open the faucet and hand him the soap.

"Thanks sweetie, for taking care of Ryan while we where outside talking." Catherine says to Lindsey while she was seated on the couch next to her daughter.

Lindsey leaned over to Catherine as she lowered her voice; "Everything is alright now?" she asked her mother while she looked at her with that specific demanding Willows look.

"Yes, better then ever." Catherine said back to her little girl.

"Well I figured that you needed to talk to each other, and when you two start talking it usually takes hours. And besides all I really did, was make a sandwich for Ryan, and give him some milk." Lindsey said in a very matured voice, I smiled at Lindsey silently thanking her for being such a matured kid. I knew that this was something that we could use in the future what ever that future might bring

**R&R please. **


	13. Matching dents to cases

**Matching dents to cases**

**Chapter 13**

That night at work paying attention was a hard task, my mind kept wandering off. I was too distracted to concentrate on the normal things that would usually get me all ready to start working on a case. Grissom handing out assignments and catching up on open cases usually got my full attention. But not today and in my guessing there would be more days like this in the future. Grissom had stepped into the break room merely five minutes ago and Catherine had already answered at least two questions that where directed at me. Finally the door opened again and Warrick and Greg stepped inside.

"Hello everyone, sorry we're late we where looking for these test results, Joanie has already changed the DNA lab so we couldn't find the test results. Ow and Grissom I was so right about the test results."

"Well that is good but you have to explain the test results to Catherine and Sara. Warrick clears his throat before he starts talking; "Okay, well Grissom send me out on a case, a burnt out car was found out in the dessert and inside was a body. I noticed that the car looked a lot like the second vehicle that is on the video from the jeweller. Archie and I have been working on the video stills and we did indeed match the cars, there is a small but significant dent in the car and with the enhancing of some of the stills we could match the dents."

Warrick slid the files across the table towards Catherine and me, Catherine picked them up and opened them she quickly looked over the files and picked up the pictures in the file map and watched them intensely one by one taking in the details.

"Do we know who the man is that was burned?" Catherine asked as she looked at some shot of the burned body.

"Yes we found a match on his DNA in the database; His name is Jason Jackson, he is a member of the 'red dragon'. One of the newer gangs in town, he got arrested quite some times, has been in and out of jail for most of his life."

"Has Brass already talked to the family?"

"No he hasn't, he wanted one of us to go with him, will you do that?" Warrick asked Catherine, knowing that she would rather do that then work on the cars.

"Yes, I'll just read through some of these papers and then I go and meet him. I am sure that he can wait a few minutes." Catherine concentrated on the files in front of her again, I pulled my chair closer to Catherine and read the files leaning on her shoulder. Catherine smiled at me and held the files up a little making it easier for me to read with her.

I pushed myself away from under the car, and looked at who was looking down at me. "Did you find anything?" I pushed the plastic protection glasses into my hair before I sat up.

"No nothing special or suspicious, did you find anything else?"

"No nothing, well I had already done most of the car yesterday. At least we now know what accelerant they used. We better clean up here and see if Doc. Robbins has anything for us?"

"Okay War, I'll go and see if I can find something on that 'red dragon' thing. I'll see you later." I say as I open my overall and tie the sleeves around my hips. I pick up the tools and place them back in there place before I leave the garage, Warrick turns the lights of as he leaved the garage behind me. We walk through the hallways and finally reach the locker room in silence; I decide to take a quick shower before I return to my job.

Ten minutes later I was ready to go, taking one look at my watch I figured that I could take some time for a cup of coffee.

"Cath, we made this decision without even talking to Lindsey about it."

"What?" Catherine asks as she looks up at me confused, she puts the paper she was holding down on the table. I stepped into the office and closed the door behind me, I proceeded walking through the office and sat down on Catherine's desk. I handed her a cup of coffee, and she gladly took it.

"Oh, about that 'thing'?" Catherine said; "we don't have to discus that with her."

"But Catherine, we have talked to her about each mayor decision that we made. I see her as my daughter, I don't want to lie to her." Catherine placed her hand on my knee.

"It's so sweet that you say that but I think that it is better if we don't talk to her about this, not yet. I know Lindsey and I know what she can be like and …" Catherine's lips curled up in a smile. "I just remember something that happened when Lindsey was about four years old. She was always asking me if she could have a brother or a sister and one day we were at a toy store and she was looking at some dolls and at one point she turned around and she saw a woman with a baby in her arms. Trying to calm the baby which was crying down so Lindsey sees that and she thought that the woman was 'buying'. So she turned around and pulled at my hand and squeals; Look mommy, mommy can we have one of those!" Catherine laughs; "God, I was so embraced, anyway from that moment on whenever I asked what she wanted for her birthday or Christmas she always said a lil' brother or sister. She stopped when she was about eight; I guess that she finally gave up on the idea."

"Besides that she would probably ask us every day if we had news, or if you are pregnant. And to be honest I think that it would only put a strain on our relationship, there are a lot of things that we have to concentrate on and in all of that of course we shouldn't forgot Lindsey in all of that. But I don't think that it is a good idea to involve Lindsey in all of this just yet. We'll talk about it later, okay babe? Oh by the way, if you search for something on the internet and don't want me to know about it, you should really clean the history of you browser. I came across some websites about this particular topic."

I nodded and leaned down to kiss Catherine as we heard a soft knock on the door. Catherine looked around me as I turned around. Warrick opened the door. "Sorry, I wanted to ask you if you got some new info."

"On the case, well Brass informed the parents of the man that we found he was only twenty years old. They had missed him but they figured that he was staying at a friends house or with some girl. Which seemed to be normal for this kid to just go out, and not return home for days." Catherine sighed; "So his parents weren't really worried, they didn't really seem to be devastated by the news either. Well all they did say was that they blamed his friends for bringing him onto the bad path, but by the looks of it they did their share too. There really wasn't anything they could just some first or last names of friends and even some nicknames nothing that we can really use.

"So what's next?" I ask in general.

"Well I am waiting for Brass to page me, he had to take care of some things. The only real clue that the parents gave us was the name of Jason Jackson's girlfriend."

Catherine parked the car in our drive way, she cut the engine and got out of the car. I opened my door and got out of the car as well. I followed Catherine to our house and waited till she opened the door all of this happened in silence, nevertheless it was a comfortable silence. We go through the motions and by the time that other people wakeup we lie down in bed.


	14. A day at the park

I am so so so sorry again, I seriously couldn't kick myself into gear and write this chapter, so weird cause I have writen some things down that will happen later in the story but this chapter ... wow it was hard and don't ask me why.

**A day at the park**

**Chapter 14**

Later in the afternoon Catherine woke up when she heard some noises in our bedroom; she cautiously opened her eyes and was blinded by the light of the sun. She turned around and opened her eyes again, to see what I was doing. I looked up from my laptop that I had placed on my thighs; I was leaning against the back of the bed when I noticed that Catherine was awake. "Hey babe, did you sleep well?" I asked her as I bend down and kissed her.

"Yeah I did, what about you?" Catherine asked, as she sat up and leaned against the back of the bed, next to me. "What are you doing?" she asked not able to contain her curiosity.

"I slept alright; I am just reading some articles."

"Articles, about what? A case?" Catherine asked not totally awake, her head was still fussy from the sleep. She leaned against my shoulder, pressed her lips on my shoulder and kissed me before she rested her head against me.

"No babe, reading some articles about fertility and insemination." I said while I smiled a little uncomfortable.

"Hmm, tell me what have you read so far?" Catherine asked while she kissed my neck and leaned in even closer. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer revelling in her warmth.

"Important things that you might forget about, I need to get a full physical check out before we can even start on the other things. And there are so many decisions that need to be made. You know things that you might forget about, like the type of donor you want to use, things like that."

"I know babe, but we can do it together." she said as she gently placed a hand on my belly. "It's not going to be easy, but I am sure that we can do it." Catherine smiled that radiant smile that made me love her even more.

I closed the laptop and put it aside, next to the bed; "It's just a shame that we can't do it the old fashioned way like most other couples." I said to Catherine in a low and husky voice, I bend closer to her and pressed my lips on hers.

"Doesn't mean that we can't do 'that'." Catherine answered in the same low and husky voice, while she straddled my thighs. And kissed me like it would be the last chance she would get, her searing kiss made me tremble under her touch. Her hands roamed over my body as she moved my tank top up. She broke our kiss and bend down, she placed a kiss on my belly. That simple touch of her soft lips on my already flushed skin send a shiver up my spine.

"Catherine, I love you." Catherine moved back up and kissed me again her soft lips pushed against mine until they felt like they couldn't take it anymore. We broke apart because we needed to breath, Catherine's breath came in short hisses and felt warm against the skin of my neck. She softly bit in the skin at the base of my neck, I love it when she does that. It's a primal kind of lust that is awakened by these small gestures.

Catherine's nails dug into my skin, her darkened eyes captured mine as she kissed me again. I pulled Catherine closer into my embrace, Catherine moaned softly as I kissed that sensitive spot in her neck. Catherine bend down and kissed me with passion, I raised my hands to he face. I barely touched the skin beneath my fingers. I pushed back the strawberry blonde hair, that looked like it was on fire as the rays of light captured it. I was mesmerized by the woman hovering above me. Her beautiful smile, the sparkling dark eyes darkened by the arousal. Her flushed skin; goose bumps that rose under my touch. Catherine's breathing came fast and uncontrolled as I touched her. I smiled when I saw the effect of my touches.

Catherine called my name, and I walked around the corner and looked at her standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you ready, we need to pick up Ryan and Lindsey. Oh by the way Janice called when you where in the shower, and she said that she'll pick Ryan up from school tomorrow."

"Just a minute, I'll be right there." I went back into our bed room and picked up my jeans jacket, and quickly ran down the stairs. I closed the door behind me and turned the key in the lock. I got into the car and closed the door behind me, Catherine was silently singing to the radio. She placed her hand on my knee and smiled at me, I placed my hand on top of hers as she drove down to Ryan's school. Catherine pulled up in front of Ryan's school and I quickly got out of the car. "I'll pick him up, be right back babe!" I said sending Catherine one of my gap toothed smiles.

I walked down the hallway and barely reached the class room when the kids flooded the hallway. I spotted Ryan the second he came out of the door. "Hey Sara!" He exclaimed happily look what I made he said as he held up a drawing he made. I crouched down to his height and looked at the drawing that he made.

"Wow, that is beautiful!" Ryan wrapped his arms around my neck.

"It's for you, will you hang it on the fridge, Janice always hangs my drawings on the fridge. I saw that you don't have any pictures on the fridge so I thought that maybe I could make one for you and Catherine." I hugged Ryan back and got up, I took his small hand in mine.

"I'll make sure that it gets a nice place on the fridge." Ryan smiled at me. I took his small backpack from him and together we walked down to the exit of the school. "Let's go to the car and we go to Lindsey's school and pick her up."

I made sure that Ryan was strapped into the car before we drove off, driving down to Lindsey school. But not before Ryan proudly showed his drawing to Catherine and told her that I said that we would hang it up on the fridge. Catherine looked at me, one eyebrow raised; "That's great Ryan, it's really pretty." Ryan was already engaged in other things outside the window as he waved at one of his friends.

"Don't look at me like that, he said that Janice hangs his drawings on the fridge and well it sounded like something that was important to him. Besides that it's not like he will be the last child that puts his drawing on the fridge." Catherine send me a smile, she nodded her head and concentrated on the road in front of her again.

Catherine pulled the car up in front of Lindsey's school, we only had to wait for a couple of seconds when Lindsey got into the car. Looking rather depressed when she slammed the door hard. She didn't even say hello but just stared out of the window. "Well hello to you too!" Catherine said to her daughter, but only silence greeted her. She pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and turned in her seat and looked back at her daughter; "Linds, what's the matter?" she asked her daughter this time with more force.

"Nothing!" She answered angrily.

"Well honey, if it's nothing then there is no reason to be mad or to behave like this."

"Okay, boys are stupid!"

"Well I could have told you that a long time ago!" I mumbled.

"Sara you are so not helping!" Catherine said, before she turned back to Lindsey.

"I'm not stupid!" Ryan said confused looking from one person to the other.

"No Ryan you're not stupid. Lindsey is just upset because of something that happened." Lindsey looked up at us.

"Some boys where acting really stupid today, they where laughing and looking at us but each time that one of my friends or I looked at them they looked away as fast as they could. And they wouldn't talk to us, they are stupid."

"Linds is that all, it's just a bunch of boys, I mean do you remember those times when you and one of your friends are talking about a particular boy. Well you are talking about the boy but you don't talk to the boy because you are too shy. These boys are probably doing the same thing." Catherine said to Lindsey, explaining the situation.

"I don't want a boyfriend!" Lindsey exclaimed.

"No honey, please wait a couple of years before you have a boyfriend. Cause you are way too young for those kind of things." Catherine looked at Lindsey for a few seconds, but she didn't get a reaction. She raised her shoulders and put her sunglasses back on before she started the engine.

"Ryan, Janice will pick you up from school tomorrow. She called us this afternoon she is doing a lot better so this will be the last day with us. So Catherine and I thought that we could go to the park, have some ice cream."

Minutes later Catherine parked the car near a park and we all got out of the car. I guided us down to the ice stand and bought everyone an ice cream. I handed my money to the boy behind the ice stand and walked over to Lindsey and Catherine who had already found a bench and sat down. Ryan jumped up the minute he finished his ice cream; "Can I go over to the swings?"

"Yes you can but stay close okay honey?" Catherine said to Ryan. He ran away to the swings and sat down minutes later Lindsey followed him. She was standing next to the swings when Ryan squealed that he wanted to go higher. Lindsey pushed him higher and higher. "Look at them…" Catherine said looking at Lindsey and Ryan. "Linds, would love to have a little sister or brother."


	15. Doctor's appointments

**Doctor's appointments**

**Chapter 15**

"Mom, Sara common' we want to watch the movie?" Lindsey called from the living room where she was already waiting with Ryan. Catherine and I where preparing some drinks and popcorn in the kitchen. I was standing with my back to her when I felt her arm snake around my body. I leaned into the body that pushed against my back. Catherine placed a kiss on my back between my shoulder blades. I turned around in Catherine's arms and kissed her softly on her lips.

Without being able to see her I knew what she was doing she was staring straight at the television screen in front of her, her arms crossed over her chest. Rolling her eyes while she spoke; "They are 'always' kissing!" Pronouncing the word always with more force.

Catherine laughed when she heard her daughters comment, she leaned her head against my shoulder and laughed; "She makes it sound like it is something bad!"

That night at work Catherine and I were taking a well deserved break in the middle of the shift. When I thought about the things that I had read on the whole IVF procedure.

"Cath?" I broke the comfortable silence when I called out her name.

"Yes sweetheart?" Catherine said, looking up from the newspaper that she had been reading. I was sitting across from her just gazing at her, my wife. I took a sip from my coffee to collect my thoughts. I looked around making sure that no one is about to enter the break room before I started talking. "I wanted to make an appointment with my doctor for a full check."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Catherine asked knowing what I was about to ask.

"If you would like to go with me, I want to do this together from the start."

"Sweetheart, of course I'll go with you we have to explain our situation." Catherine folded the paper and laid it down in front of her. "Babe you do have to know that it might take some time before we really move forward in this process. It'll take longer we'll have to find a donor. Make a lot of decisions are you sure that you are up for that. You also have to consider the possibility that it might not work the first time or that you have a miscarriage."

I knew that Catherine was right that she said that to me, I knew that she was being honest with me making sure that I was aware of all these things. I look away not able to look at Catherine as tears well up in my eyes, my voice breaks when I try to speak. Barely above a whisper I say; "I know that, believe me I know that!"

"Okay honey, I am just making sure. I don't want to see you hurt if things take longer then anticipated or don't work the way we hope it would." Catherine says as she gets up and walks around the table as she reaches me, she surprises me by sitting down on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck. She lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.

"Make that appointment and I'll make sure that I'll be there." Catherine said leaning down, she slowly kissed me.

"Thanks babe!" I say between kisses. Catherine's arms are still wrapped around my shoulders when I hear someone clear his throat.

"You know if Grissom would see the two of you like this during working hours he would probably working hours he would probably give you a nice long speech about compromising positions and keeping work and relationships separated and after that he probably knows even more topics that he could give you a speech about …" Nick answered while he stepped into the break room heading for the coffeemaker. He poured himself a mug of coffee and turned around leaning with his back against the counter. By the time he had turned around Catherine had already gotten up, I immediately missed the warmth from her body.

"Well I better get back to work!" Catherine said with a goofy smile while she straightened her clothes. She turned and left the room quickly.

Later that week Catherine and I where sitting in the waiting area in front of the doctors office. I was nervous, not sure what was about to happen or how even if the doctor would be helpful. Last time I visited her was five years ago for a routine check up after my miscarriage. I never went to the doctor after that, I hated doctors I had spent way to much time in their offices when I was younger.

"What if there is something wrong with me?"

"What?" Catherine looked surprised at me; "What babe? Don't do this to yourself and don't jump to conclusions." Catherine grabbed my hand that was resting in my lab, and she held my hands in hers rubbing her thumb across the top of my hand. Catherine smiled at me; "Sara honey we will find a way, if this doctor can't help us we'll find someone who will."

The door to the doctor's office opened and a young blonde woman came out. "Miss Sidle?" I quickly glanced at Catherine and got up, Catherine was standing besides me and together we followed the doctor into her office. She sat down behind her desk and pointed us towards the chairs in front of her desk.

The doctor extended her hand towards Catherine who took her hand and shook it. "Hello I'm Susan Phillips. Sara's doctor if that is what I can call myself if I see her once every five years." Susan said with a smug smile covering her face. Catherine smiled at Susan; "I am Catherine Willows Sidle, Sara's wife." Susan nodded generously when Catherine said that, she didn't seem to be surprised at all.

"Miss Sidle, what can I do for you? It's been a while hasn't it?" The doctor said checking her files.

"Catherine and I are thinking about having kids together well not together but well you know what I mean and I'm here for a physical exam and to see if you might be able to help us." I rambled nervously, fidgeting with my hands.

"Okay well let me say this first before we continue this conversation." My hope dropped I was sure that Susan wouldn't want or wouldn't be able to help us. "I support the choices that you two made, but things won't be easy. People can be harsh, cruel lesbian relationships aren't widely accepted unfortunately. I would like to help out where ever I can. I have some information that can be of any use. I can give it to you if you like."

Susan nodded silently before she got up and walked over to the cupboard in the corner of the room and opened the doors, she picked up a stack of papers before she returned to her desk. "I take it that you two have been talking about this, considering your options." We both nodded at her question. "Okay, what have you two already decided?"

"I already have a daughter and besides that Sara wants a child, so she will be the birthmother to the child. I'll adopt the baby when he or she is born just like Sara adopted my daughter. We have a lawyer who can help us with the legal procedures; she also helped us with the adoption papers for Lindsey. So that is all taken care of." Catherine explained to Susan.

We talked for a while after which Susan continued with the physical exam. A hour later we could finally go home, I was drained after working a shift and the doctor's appointment. Catherine surprised me by inviting me for a late breakfast date as she called it. She took me to our favourite diner and we both ordered blueberry pancakes before we went home and went to sleep.

I leaned comfortably against Catherine while we where watching 'The L Word', Catherine had her arm resting on my shoulder and her legs where probed up on the coffee table. I sighed when I watched Tina and Bette 'the happy couple'; "I so want what she has!" I mumbled softly while I focused on the dialog between the two women.

"What do you want, babe? That I go out and see if I can find some hot carpenter to cheat on you with while you are home alone and pregnant." Catherine asked trying to maintain a serious tone of voice. "You know that carpenter that was working at the LVPD last night looked really cute, nice ass too." I swatted Catherine and looked at her in a mock disbelief which really cracked her up. "You know honey you are just too cute!" Catherine said as she kissed me.

TBC?


	16. Choices to be made

**AN:** One big thank you goos out to my new beta Sasha. Thank you girl!

**AN2:** So I know that my last standalone was pretty shitty the 'Ah, but underneath' one but seriously I wasn't so far off with them getting new cars was I? I seriously didn't know when I wrote that and yes I am aware that they didn't get a 'Pussywagon' but that new car with all the lights and stuff seriously it is brighter lit then a christmass tree!

**Choices to be made  
Chapter 16**

Catherine came finally home after working overtime for the second time this week. She looked exhausted when she sat down at the counter; she dropped her keys on the counter top and sighed. I slid a plate with a freshly made sandwich in front of Catherine; she looked up with a weak smile and started eating slowly from the sandwich. She gladly took the coffee that I gave her.

"Hard case?" Catherine nodded in response.

"I was just trying to get out of the building when Grissom came over and send me and Warrick on a new case. It was only an open and shut case, but still it always takes a couple of hours to process. Thanks babe, I really needed this." She said with a sigh while she took a sip from her coffee.

I sat down across from her on the other side of the counter eating my own sandwich. "You know I got a call earlier today."

"Who was it?" Catherine asked picking up a slice of tomato from her plate.

"It was Susan, I am all cleared. The physical exam went perfect and she said that there was no reason why I wouldn't be able to conceive or why I shouldn't conceive." I was happy, excited but also a little afraid; I knew that a decision like this would change everything. But I also knew that deep in my heart I wanted this for so long.

"Wow that's good news, so we can really do this now?" Catherine took a bite from her sandwich, licking some mayonnaise from her finger after it dripped from the sandwich onto her finger. Her tongue darted out and graciously liked the mayonnaise from her skin.

"Yes, all we have to do now is find out when I am ovulating and find a donor. And then we can really do this." Catherine leaned across the counter and gave me a kiss.

"I can't wait …" Catherine said flashing me one of those heart melting smiles.

I looked at the stack of papers in front of me. I had been reading through them for what seems like an eternity, I knew that it couldn't have been more then an hour but it didn't feel like it. It didn't seem to come any closer to the end of the stack. I rested my head in my hands and closed my eyes for a second. It felt as if the letters where spinning in front of my eyes. There was too much information that I was trying to take in at the same time, too much information to make a choice.

A set of warm hands where placed on my shoulders making slow movements along the muscles in my neck and shoulders. Catherine's well skilled hands knew precisely where to touch me when I was all tensed up. She bends down and I could feel the hot breath on my skin; "Are you okay?"

Catherine leaned her chin on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me from behind; I leaned back into her embrace and revelled in her body heath. Catherine leaned forward and picked up one of the papers on the counter top in front of me. "Babe, why didn't you wait for me, until I came back from the store. We should be doing this together!" Catherine said trying to hide the hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Sweetie, I know I am sorry I should have waited but I just wanted to take a quick look but then well I know it is no excuse but I lost track of time. How about I make some coffee and then we read through them together."

Catherine smiled, and pressed a kiss on my cheek before she let go of me. "Don't worry, it's okay but you better make that coffee and while you are at it to make things really right you should better get those chocolate chip cookies out of the cabinet." Catherine turned around and started unpacking the grocery bags.

I helped Catherine as I waited on the coffee to finish, minutes later we took a seat on the couch with the coffee, cookies and the stack of papers. I sat down in the corner of the couch and Catherine leaned comfortably against me. She picked up the first file from the stack of papers. She concentrated on the information that was provided before she turned to me, I nodded no and Catherine laid the paper aside.

"Let's make a 'no' pile and a 'maybe' pile, that should at least slim this pile down." Catherine said as she pointed at the stack of papers that was resting on her lap.

"Okay that sounds like a plan to me." I answered Catherine even though it wasn't really a question that she asked. I concentrated on the information that was printed on the next file. I took a sip from my coffee before I told Catherine what I thought about this guy. "No this guy doesn't seem to be the right guy either."

"I didn't think so either, what about this one? This one looks a lot better?" Catherine asked.

"No way, have you even read the information on that page? I mean seriously read it!"

"Well yeah …" Catherine reread the details on the page when suddenly it hit her. "Oh … oh my God! You are right, this so … Wow! That would be really weird."

"Thirty something year old Texan currently living in Nevada, Dark haired Caucasian working in law enforcement. I would be wondering if Nick would be the possible biological father of our child. If that was what we wanted we would have asked him in the first place or any of our other friends for that matter, right?"

"This one is going straight to the 'no' pile."

Hours later we where still going through the files fortunately for us the 'no' pile was a lot bigger then the 'maybe' pile, which at least would make it easier to make the eventual choice. "We better start making dinner, Linds will be here soon." Catherine said as she wanted to get up. I grabbed her hand before she could get up and walk into the kitchen.

"Honey, I wanted to talk to you about Lindsey."

"What about Lindsey?" Catherine asked as she looked at me.

"There is nothing wrong with Lindsey but I just wanted to talk to you again about telling her. I still believe that she a right to know, I want her to know what we are doing. I don't want to keep secrets from her, she is old and wise enough to know that we must have had these plans for a while when we tell her that I am pregnant and we promised her to be open and honest to her."

"I've been thinking about that too, and I believe that you are right. I know that at first I said that we should wait until you really are pregnant but you are right." Catherine answered; "So when do you want to tell her?"

"Well in my opinion the faster we tell her the better." Catherine nodded, before she got up.

"Then I better start dinner, before she comes home."

I followed Catherine into the kitchen and together we prepared dinner. We where ready the minute Lindsey opened the door, Catherine walked up to the door and waved her sister goodbye before she hugged Lindsey. "Hi mom, what's for dinner?" Lindsey asked when she walked into the kitchen. "Hi Sara!" Lindsey picked up the lid and looked into the pan.

"Hi sweetie, how was school?" I asked while I place a kiss on top of her head. "Oh by the way wash your hands, dinner is ready and we are having vegetarian spaghetti with red sauce and lots of vegetables, you know those really healthy things that grow on plants."

"Funny Sara like I don't know the things that my mom makes me eat for the past twelve years, and now I even you to remind me of how healthy they are. Well here is a newsflash it doesn't make it taste any better!"

Lindsey washed her hands and opened one of the drawers, she took pout the silverware and placed it on the table. She then returned to get the plates and glasses. Minutes later, we were ready to eat our dinner and tell our girl about our future plans.

**TBC?**


	17. Explaining future plans

**Explaining future plans**

**Chapter 17**

Catherine filled three plates with spaghetti and saus and topped it off with cheese. Lindsey sat down at the table and Catherine put down the plates on the table, I followed her and sat down next to Catherine across from Lindsey.

"Lindsey? Sara and I want to talk to you about something." Catherine looked at her daughter waiting until she was sure that she had her attention. She reached down and placed her hand on top of mine, I felt my hand shaking under Catherine's; I was nervous even more nervous then I had been when I asked Lindsey if it was okay if I asked her mother to marry me. Then I knew that she would probably be okay with it because she never really seemed to have a problem with me living with them so I thought that she wouldn't mind if I asked her mom to marry me. But this time we where talking about a baby, another child into our live something that would change everything. Catherine caressed my hand with her thumb before she continued talking to Lindsey.

"Well it can't be something bad when you are holding hands like that." Lindsey smiled while she looked at us expectantly; "so what is it?"

"You are right about that, it isn't anything bad it's really positive actually well we at least think that it is. Remember when you where younger and you asked me for a brother or sister because all of your friends had one, and that I explained to you that I would only consider having another child if I had a solid and serious relationship."

"Yes of course I remember that, I always wanted a brother or a sister, so?"

"Well Sara and I believe that we have a relationship like that and we are considering to have another child, well actually we want to do this together and well … we wanted you to know about our future plans."

"Wow mom that's really cool but are you saying that you are pregnant?" Lindsey asked curiously.

"No honey, I am not pregnant and I won't be the one who's having the baby either."

"Are you pregnant?" Lindsey asked turning to me, but before I could answer she rambled on; "You didn't cheat on my mom and end up pregnant, did you?" Lindsey asked while she looked at me much like the way Catherine would look at a criminal during an interview. A chill went up my spine as I looked at her before I answered her question.

"Lindsey!" Catherine reprimanded her daughter but I stopped her before she could say anything else that she might regret later. I was sure that Lindsey didn't mean it the way that it sounded.

"Lindsey, honey I am not pregnant not yet anyways. And besides that you should know by now that I love you and your mom. And that I would never do anything to hurt you or her, and that I am faithful. More then enough people have cheated on me I could never do that to your mother or to you. You have to believe me when I say that."

"Okay, I just had to know. My dad used to cheat on my mom and even if he did that she would still love him, I've heard them fight about it and my mom would cry if she thought that I couldn't hear her. I can't let anyone hurt my mom like that not even you." Lindsey said while she looked down at her plate afraid of her mother's reaction. But Catherine was just looking at her stunned she always thought that Lindsey never really knew about Eddie's imperfections. She had told her daughter about her dancing days, about the alcohol and drug abuse but she never said a word about Eddie's cheating or his abuse. She told her daughter those things because she didn't want her to make those mistakes.

"Lindsey, I understand what you mean. So don't worry it's okay." I reassured Lindsey that I wasn't mad for assuming something like that. "Anyways, your mom and I have been talking about this for a while and we have decided that we want to try to have a baby with the use of a donor, an unknown donor. That way there is no dad involved and we will be this baby's family, the three of us."

"When is this going to happen? Soon?" Lindsey asked hopeful.

"Soon, it depends on well a couple of things. We gave to find a donor of course and some other things."

"Cool!" Lindsey jumped up and walked around the table, she embraced me into a hug. "This is so cool now I am finally getting a brother or a sister!" She exclaimed into my ear, I hugged her back before she released me and went over to her mother. Catherine hugged Lindsey and pulled me into their embrace as well we ended up in a solid family hug.

"That went pretty well, but how did you know that she asked you that question for a reason?" Catherine was silent for a few seconds. She absently traced her finger up and down my thigh causing goose bumps to rise on my bare skin. "She was rude I was mad at her!"

"I knew you where honey, but Lindsey has never been rude to me she might have been mad at me but this was different she tensed up when she asked me that question, she looked at me directly she looked so much like you when you are interviewing suspects. It kind of gave me the idea that she knew something and that she wanted to hear what I had to say before she could believe that it wasn't what she thought." I sighed and looked over to Catherine she was lying across from me on the bed, on her side her head resting in her hand while her other hand still stroked across my skin. "I don't know it doesn't make much sense now! Point is that she doesn't want to see you hurt and she knows that you love me. Obviously she knows that you gave Eddie more chances then he ever deserved, and even though you gave him another chance she also saw the pain that it caused you. And well maybe she thinks that you will give me those chances as well even if I cheated on you and got knocked up. She might think that you forgive me …"

"If that was the only way to get pregnant then I wouldn't do it. I know that this child will never be ours as in we made this little miracle. And that is the one thing that I regret about this whole process." Catherine reached her hand out to me and wiped away the tear in the corner of my eye. She moved closer and kissed me; "Honey, this baby will be ours, no matter what! But one more thing you better not try your luck on my forgiveness."

"Don't worry I won't do that I love you too much to risk our love. I married you remember!" I said as I leaned into Catherine and kissed her again.

"Love you too, babe!" Catherine said as she moved over until she straddled me, she hovered above me. She bends down and kissed me tenderly, her hair dropped onto my shoulders tickling me with every movement that she made. My hands rested on her hips just looking at her hovering above me aroused me. Just the idea of what would be next aroused me, the way that two human beings melted into one.

I know every curve in her body, every perfect rounding that my hands slide along. I know that she knows my body just as well as I knew hers when I realised that soon everything would change again.

"I love you so much!" Catherine mumbled against my skin, she kissed my flushed skin until she reached my hardened nipple. She softly bites my nipple before she gently circles it with her tongue, while her hands stroked the sides of my chest her thumb placed under my breast.

She raised her head and looks at me with those darkened eyes filled with passion, before she leans down again and a smouldering kiss follows. My heart is pounding and my blood raises through my veins as I kiss her back trying to gain control over the situation, I flip Catherine over onto her back and this time I am in control of the situation as I straddle her hips.

She sends me a seductive smile before she leans in to kiss me again this time my hands are roaming over her body. I kiss the curve of her neck, her collarbone and make a trail of butterfly kisses to her nipples. I massage, nip and suck them until I hear a soft moan escape from her mouth. Catherine's fingers are entangled in my hair as she pushes me closer to her. Her skin is covered in a shimmer of sweat, goose bumps rise as I touch her.

I surprise Catherine when I insert two fingers inside of her, she immediately reacts and a loud moan escapes from her lips. She closes her eyes and arches her back, pushing her hips down as I fall into a gentle rhythm of thrusting, she moves in the same rhythm. I watch Catherine as the effects of my movements push her over the edge. I crawl up the bed and kiss Catherine lips before I lay down next to her and take her in my arms as she regains her breath

**R&R please! TBC? **


	18. Surprises

**Surprises  
Chapter 18**

I woke up early that morning; the sun was already shining for what promised to be a hot day. But in a city on the edge of the desert that wasn't really a surprise. I turned onto my side and gazed at Catherine, my beautiful wife; sunbeams where playing on her skin and on her hair, which made it look as if it was on fire. I was mesmerized by the flaming locks of hair each time that she moved in her sleep. She smiled and looked truly happy and relaxed. This was one of these moments that I realised that I love her more and more with each day that passes, more then I ever held possible.

I have no idea how long I lay there watching her like that, and I didn't care either. I gave her a soft kiss before I got up and left the bedroom wrapping Catherine's silk robe around me as I walked down the stairs. I loved the way that it had this distinctive smell that I recognised as Catherine's the smell that I love so much.

I opened the fridge door and looked inside for something edible not that I should worry that there wasn't anything since I had been living here I never had to deal with a barely empty fridge filled with Chinese or Thai take out. I picked out the ingredients for Catherine's favourite breakfast blueberry waffles. And started preparing the breakfast when I heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

Lindsey stepped into the kitchen and sat down at the counter; "Good morning Sara."

"Hi sweetie, did you sleep well?" I asked her while I continued preparing breakfast.

Lindsey sighed; "No not really, I didn't sleep well."

"Why not, sweetie?" I asked her wondering if our conversation had bothered her.

"Sara?" Lindsey waited until I turned around before she continued talking; "I am really sorry about ehm … what I said. I had no right to judge you and assume things like that. I was really mean!" Lindsey said while she looked down at her hands.

"Honey!" I leaned down and placed my elbows on the counter while I picked up Lindsey's hand and held hers in mine. "Lindsey I already told you that I understood what you meant; don't worry so much there is no need. And I am sorry that you had to see your dad hurt your mom like that but I promise you that I will never do that. Now would you help me prepare breakfast, I am making your moms favourite."

Lindsey looked up at me, and quickly stepped around the counter she surprised me when she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me burying her face against my chest. She mumbled a thank you through her teeth, I kissed the top of Lindsey's head while she hugged me, as I looked up I saw Catherine standing in the door opening leaning against the doorframe. She smiled at me; it was obvious that she had been there for a while. She looked proud at me, I smiled back and let go of Lindsey. She turned around and saw her mother standing in the door opening she quickly made her way over to her mother and treated her on a huge hug as well.

I served the pancakes with a blueberry topping and whipped cream and sat down at the table after I went back to the kitchen to get my own plate. Catherine and Lindsey where already talking about school, and Lindsey's upcoming math quiz a topic that she quickly changed into her upcoming summer camp.

"But mom what happens when I am on summer camp?" Lindsey asked while she ate her pancakes.

"Ehm … you'll be at summer camp and we'll be working …" Catherine answered Lindsey's question not really sure what she was after or what she meant.

"No mom!" Lindsey she threw her hands up in the air in a dramatic gesture and rolled her eyes like only a teenager can do; "I mean with getting pregnant and all. Will we know if it worked before I go on camp or not?"

"Honey, your camp starts in three weeks!" Catherine said to Lindsey, taking a quick look at the calendar in the kitchen. "It depends on a lot of factors, the donor we still have to choose one, Sara's cycle and her fertility peak and then there is of course the actual conception. But it is not likely that we already know something by then."

"Lindsey, I promise you that we will tell you when we know something more even if you are at your summer camp, promised." I said to Lindsey wondering how long it would actually take us before we could tell Lindsey that we had succeeded and that I was pregnant. "Besides that there will be plenty of time left for you to be her with us, before the baby is born."

"Okay, but you have to promise me that I'll be the first person to know!" Lindsey demanded gazing up at Catherine and me with that trademark Willows look.

"Promised!" Catherine and I said in unison.

"Cool!" Lindsey exclaimed before she dug into her pile of pancakes. Catherine and I laughed when we looked at our daughter devouring her pancakes faster then we could imagine.

"Have you heard about that case that you guys had the jewellery store heist?" Nick said as he approached us in the hallway. Catherine and I came to a halt in front of him.

"Yeah, what about it?" Catherine asked while she grabbed the file that Nick handed to her, and quickly looked through it.

"Apparently the other members of the team tried to rob another jeweller. He took matters in his own hands when he saw on his security system that someone was trying to break in, he shot one of them. And he wounded a one perp the third perp ran and is still on the loose." Nick took a deep breath; "Anyways Grissom send me on the case yesterday with Greg and we where able to make a connection to the third person once we knew the identity of the other two perp with the one that died at your scene."

"Brass has the criminal in custody and is about to talk to him. Do you guys want to come in or do you have another case." Nick asked eager to continue his way to the interrogation room.

"Well I guess that if you're solving our case, then we better see if Grissom has something new for us. Otherwise we can sit in with you guys, I guess."

"Okay, see you later!" Nick said as he quickly continued his way.

"Bye!" Catherine and I say at the same time. We laugh as Nick hurried down the hallway; Catherine was still holding the file. At the end of the hallway Nick stopped dead in his tracks before he turned around and grabbed the file from Catherine's hand. Catherine quickly pulled her hand back and was still holding the file in her hand. While Nick's hand closed mid air; "Nicky, what do we say when we get take something from someone else? We say thank you!"

"Thank you, 'mom'" Nick said as he grabbed the file and again quickly turned around.

"I can see that you still haven't lost your touch when it comes to being a mom." I tease Catherine before I follow our way down the hall and step into the break room. Catherine quickly follows me she reaches me when I lean against the sink sipping from my coffee. Catherine placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned into me; "That's a good thing isn't it?" Catherine asked me with a husky voice.

"Very good!" I answer Catherine in the same low voice, she stares into my eyes I reach my hand up and touched her cheek running my thumb softly over her cheek. We were lost in thought, until someone threw a file on the table in the middle of the room. Breaking the moment making us both look away from each other our skin blushed red. As we tried to compose ourselves, Catherine occupied herself with the coffee mugs as she filled them.

I looked up and saw Greg standing in the middle of the room with a huge shit eating grin on his face. "Sorry to interrupt this beautiful and very sexy moment but Grissom is headed this way." He raised his voice with the words 'beautiful' and 'sexy' and spoke with a husky voice.

"You know Greggo if someone hears you talk like that, they could think that you are sexually harassing us so you better watch it." Catherine said as she handed him a mug of coffee and ruffled his hair the moment her took over the mug.

"You better watch your ass, because she is on a roll!" I say to Greg before I sit down, he sits down as well still with his hands in his hair as if it matters how his hair looks. It all looked as if he just fell out of his bed anyways. Grissom briefly stepped into the break room and handed us a new case. We were on our way to our next crime scene before we knew it.


	19. Match

**Match**

**Chapter 19**

"If we want to try it this month we better choose a donor." Catherine said as she leaned against the back of the bed, going through the files again.

I am still laying down my head resting on Catherine's belly, my eyes closed as I feel her every move as her chest rises and falls with every breath that she takes. I am not yet ready to wake up completely. Catherine's hand is absently stroking my hair while she reads the files.

"Sara? Honey, common' I know you're awake." The corners of my mouth curl up as my hand pushes the hem of Catherine's tank top up and I kiss Catherine's belly, goose bumps rise as I get up. I sit up and lean against the back of the bed next to Catherine. "Okay, I'm awake, did you find anything interesting?" I say the words still slurred from the sleep, I suppress a yawn.

"This one sounds very interesting." Catherine says as she hands me the paper. "He's a thirty year old Law graduate, but also very athletic. You should read his file, if you ask me he's interesting."

A knock on the door interrupted Catherine chuckled; "It's safe Linds, you can come in." Lindsey opened the door and was soon lying on the bed between us. Snuggling in between us she sighed happily looking totally content where she was.

"What are you doing?" She asked when she saw the papers that Catherine and I where holding in out hands.

"These are the documents that contain information about possible donors. We have to choose one but we are not sure yet who we will choose. Do you want to help us?" I ask Lindsey, she nods happily which quickly turns into a broad grin.

"Okay, okay just hand me those files and I will make a choice for you. Grown ups they always need help!" She mumbles making a 'hand it over' gesture.

"Now why would you say that honey?" Catherine smacked Lindsey with the files, Lindsey chuckled even harder and pushed Catherine's hand away, seconds later they where both entangled in a hug while she stroked her daughter's blonde hair.

"Because I have seen you guys go over these files a million times at first I thought that they where just boring files like taxes or something but well now I know what they are. You gotta make a choice or nothing will ever happen." Lindsey sighed; "And it'll only take longer and longer …"

"Hey sweetie, you have been bugging me for a brother or sister ever since you could pronounce those words I am sure that you can wait a little longer if that is necessary." Catherine said to Lindsey.

"Okay so who would you choose?" I say to Lindsey while I hand her the files that I was holding. "We are already down to five donors. So we are making progress, you know."

Lindsey was concentrating on the file that Catherine had handed her; next in line was the file that I was still holding. She put aside the file that Catherine had given her and snuggled into my embrace before and read the file together with me. "I like this one better then that one."

"Why?" Catherine asked leaving Lindsey's own interpretation to answer the question. Catherine always wanted Lindsey to have her own opinion about important topics. She wanted Lindsey to think for herself and not just take what other people say for granted.

She thought for minute before she answered; "Because this person works in law enforcement like you do; besides that he is good at sports which is cool because I like soccer and basketball. And the description of this man makes me think of Sara, that's why?" She shrugged; "Well of course he is a man but he's a little longer then Sara and he has dark brown eyes and hair just like Sara."

"Actually Lindsey, I think that you might be right. What do you think honey?" Catherine and Lindsey both look at me with big bright expecting eyes.

"I guess that we found what we where looking for." I take a look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. "It's time to give Susan a call." Catherine leaned over Lindsey and hugged me, until she became aware of her daughters protests. She releases her embrace and pulls Lindsey into it as well.

A week later I pace up and down the waiting area; three steps up and three steps down. I'm nervous, I wasn't even this nervous when I asked Catherine to marry me. I seemed as if each second took at least a minute to pass. I looked at my watch again and grunted we had only been here for ten minutes but it felt like hours. Catherine was sitting in the chair following me with her eyes looking more annoyed each time I passed her.

"Sara! Sit down you're driving me crazy!" Catherine finally said, while she looked up at me. I finally sat down next to her Catherine immediately took my hand in hers, stroking her thumb along my hand hoping that the soothing gesture would relax me. She smiled at me and leaned into me giving me a quick kiss.

The door opened, Susan was standing in the door opening, a big smile covering her face; "Ahh, the nervous parents to be! Please step into my office, Mrs Sidle and Willows-Sidle." We both sat down in a chair across from the table that Susan sat behind. Once more she explained the procedure that she would perform within minutes.

"So you are sure that there are no questions, no questions at all?" Susan asked us one more time, both Catherine and I nodded.

"Okay then please follow me." She opened the door and handed me a gown; "You know the deal, I'll be back in ten minutes and no worries I will knock before I open the door." A smug smile covered her face and unwillingly my cheeks coloured a deep red. The door closed as soon as we were inside the room.

It was awkward standing here about to do a procedure which should have been an intimate moment between two people. But that wasn't the deal here; I pulled Catherine close to me and kissed her searching for comfort in her embrace. She immediately returned the favour probably searching for the same.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask Catherine as I lift her head to look her into her eyes I ask her when I notice that she seems miles away. I push a strand of hair behind her ear, she sighs.

"I was thinking about how much this moment can change our lives. In a good and positive way of course and I was wondering if this is the right moment or not to give you something that I bought for you. I've wanted to give you this for a while now but I am not sure if I can find the right moment. Hell I even wonder if there is a right moment for something like this." Catherine's nervous she is fidgeting with her bag, she picks up a little velvet covered box. "Please don't take this the wrong way. I was surfing the internet for information about this and all when I landed on a website which sells these necklaces. And I bought one for you but I have to tell you what this necklace means and please understand that I mean nothing but good with it."

I open the box and look down at a beautiful silver necklace with three pendants, one with a pink stone and a silver butterfly and two with a light pink and a blue stone. Catherine speaks up before I can say a word; "I bought this because of the baby that you lost, I know that not many people know about that part of your life but I know and you know what happened and you should never forget. That baby was also part of you a part that you lost, and this necklace symbolises that loss, the butterfly is a symbol of transformation, of the spirit and the soul. I got a letter at home which explains what the other stones stand for."

"Cath, that is beautiful. Thank you!" I wrap her in my embrace and kiss her; "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I tease Catherine, she smiles at me.

"How about each day since we've been together?"

"Well I mean it each time I say it."

"I know you do, honey." Catherine takes the necklace from my hand and places it around my neck. "Let's get you ready, Susan can be back any moment." Catherine starts opening my jeans buttons as I take off my shirt. Her hand slips between my panties and bare skin, while she kisses me tenderly.

A moan escapes from my throat before I grab her hand. "Please Cath, don't start anything that you can't end properly." She kisses me before she pulls her hand back, her eyes are clouded.

"Okay, okay but you so owe me!" She says in a sultry tone of voice. "But you know I read somewhere that this might help when you are aroused. Don't know if there is any truth in it but it's worth a shot right. Nothing gained and nothing lost."

"I know I read that too." Catherine smiled seductively; "Well then you know what I was doing …" She advances on me and once again she took the gown from the examination table and helped me to get it on before I got my boots off and dropped my jeans and panties. I hopped onto the bed, Catherine was standing besides me, and I hugged her close to me.

"I'll make it up to you, honey!" I whisper in her ear as a soft knock interrupts us. Catherine releases her embrace around me and steps up to the door to open it for Susan.

"Okay, are you two ready?" Susan asked once more.

And this time my answer sounded more confident then it had ever sounded before. "Yes, we are!" I said as I took Catherine's hand in mine.

"Okay, just act as if I am not here, relax and lay back. This won't take long, I promise." Catherine leaned down and kissed me again. Her hand was resting on my cheek as she softly spoke to me; "Honey, I love you." She looked down her blue eyes filled with love. Barely minutes later Susan gets up and leaves the room.

AN: The necklace is real à http/ I just had to use it, it's so beautiful. A friend of mine just lost her baby and I felt terrible especially because I am writing this story. I was surfing the internet for information on procedures, fertility and more when I heard what had happened to her. Worse thing about it is that she was already pretty far along in her pregnancy and without any cause or reason she lost the baby; they had to do an emergency c-section. There is no explanation at all!


	20. Summer camp

**AN: **I am still no doctor … lol and I had no medical training at all except for some pretty basic biology classes about ten years back. Also I've never been pregnant but I have been doing research on the topic so I hope that I am doing the right thing.

**AN2:** I want to do this right so for the first time in well all of my fanfics I am using a time line. It's makes writing easier on me and reading too, I guess. At least you know how far we are into the pregnancy. I will not use dates for everything just for the important events.

**Summer camp**

**Chapter 20**

"Lindsey, hurry up!" Catherine shouted from downstairs. She had just packed all of her daughter's belongings into a suitcase and was almost ready when Lindsey decided that she needed more stuff. She ran back up stairs when I was carrying her suitcase down the stairs. I arrive at the bottom of the stairs and finally put the suitcase down on the floor. I wrap my arms around Catherine; "She´s just going on camp just for a couple of weeks, right?" I whisper into Catherine's ear, who pushes me gently backward and looks confused at me. "I´m just asking, cause that suitcase feels as if she is moving out instead of going to camp a couple of weeks."

Catherine smacked me against my arm; "You should be used to that after you'd seen me pack my suitcase when we went on our honeymoon." I stick my hands up in defence and step away from Catherine who immediately grabs my arm and pulls me close again. She pushes her lips against mine in a searing kiss.

"I love you, babe." She says before she kisses me, I wisher my answer between her kisses. At that moment Lindsey comes down the stairs holding her diary and some other stuff.

She quickly put her belongings into her backpack, while I once again pick up her suitcase and open the door. I am placing the suitcase and Lindsey's backpack into the back of the car as Catherine closes the door. Soon we are on our way to the summer camp that our little girl will be attending this summer. It's a two hour drive from Vegas and as we arrive we get out of the car on a very busy parking lot. Kids are already playing games as soon as they get out of the cars and busses. As soon as they are signed in the kids are put into groups.

As soon as we signed Lindsey in we could bring her to her group. I put Lindsey's suitcase down with the other bags and suitcases that where already placed on the ground next to the camp leaders. And after that the only thing we could do was; say our goodbye's and leave our little girl behind. It felt weird, leaving her in the hands of people that we didn't know. We both kissed and hugged our little girl. At that moment every child was asked to gather with their group leaders. Seeing Lindsey standing there made her look a lot smaller and younger then she is. Or maybe it where just our concerned 'mother feelings' getting in the way.

We waved at Lindsey, who waved back happily she turned around to pay attention to the group leaders. We walked back to the car, Catherine grabbed my hand and held it in hers searching for comfort. Catherine stopped me in front of the car, turning around to look at Lindsey. I knew that she wanted to wait until the kids left for the camp site. I wrapped my arms around Catherine, leaning my chin on her shoulder; while she leaned against me we stood there waiting for the kids to leave.

Finally we made our way back home to an empty house.

**June 19th **

Catherine kneeled down in front of me, she placed her elbows on my thighs and held my hands in hers. I was sitting on the side of the tub waiting as the seconds slowly ticked away, one second after another. Catherine held my hands as she looked up at me; "We've both been through this before, the longest minutes in your life … Talk to me about last time you did this, if you want to of course?"

"Last time I did a test I was at home with that bastard, we where both excited and anxious to know the results we had been planning children for a while. We stared at the test until finally the results turned out positive. We where so happy, everything seemed right at that moment. We visited my gynaecologist to confirm the test results. The adrenaline that rushed through my veins when we read the results, it was unbelievable! I can't believe how much my life changed after that." I thought back to that particular moment almost six years ago. "What about you?"

Catherine sighed, thinking back about the events of that early morning thirteen years ago; "I was working graveyard shift back then as well, and I had been sick for a couple of days. At first I thought that it was a stomach bug but I felt okay except for the nausea. I kind of dreaded to take the test but I knew that I had to. I had no choice, so I took it, of course Eddie was nowhere to be seen as usual. When got the positive results I was happy on one hand of course I really wanted a baby. But on the other hand I also knew that Eddie was the father and there was no way that I could expect anything from him. He was drunk all the time, working on the strangest projects. And every cent he earned was wasted before it came into our bank account. It was a hard situation and I wasn't sure if I could still work as a CSI. But I knew that it was what I wanted."

The last words spoken seemed to break her away from the memories, she smiled; "Is it time?" Catherine asked I smiled at her not able to get up and walk the few steps to the sink. I was afraid that my legs would give away if I tried.

Catherine got up and made the few steps again it seemed as if all movements where in slow motion. Catherine looked at the test and picked up the box she read the instructions again. "You gotta see this!" She said as she turned around holding up the test. I looked at it; a rose-pink band clearly gave out a positive sign.

"Oh my God!" I jumped up and hugged the woman that I love with all my heart. Catherine squealed when I picked her up and swirled her around. I put her back on her feet, Catherine wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.

"We are going to have a baby!" Catherine exclaimed, we stood there as minute passed by both rambling about having a baby and the influences on our life. We both burst out into laughter when we realised that we where both rambling at the same time.

We made the call to Susan and we set an appointment with her for the next day, she confirmed the test results. We where really pregnant!

Life proceeded in the way as it had before, although work was becoming harder on me. Normally I could handle the gore and the blood of the scenes but with the 'mourning sickness' it was harder to process a scene. It was weird feeling all the changes in my body and not being able to do anything about it then just wait and see what would happen next. I used to work two shifts in a row sometimes triple shifts and now I was falling asleep on the way home.

Catherine was sitting on the couch reading a book, I watched her for a minute while the sunbeams with the blonde and red locks of her hair. She looks beautiful in the afternoon sun. I walked up to her, and bend down over the back of the couch kissing her on her cheek. Catherine looked up from her book and kissed me back.

"I just made a phone call …" I said to her between kisses.

"You did?" she asked.

"Hmm yeah, I made a call to Susan for a check up, she said that we could come by next Friday at four in the afternoon. She wants to do an ultrasound."

"Well get to see out lil' one next week? Can't wait to see that!" Catherine padded on the couch besides her. Seconds later I was sitting next to her, relaxing before we had to leave for work.

**July 4th**

**Independence day**

"Are you guys ready for the picnic?" Greg asked as he came running towards us with two thermos flasks filled with coffee. He put them down on the table next to the bowls with fruit, sandwiches and bottles with fresh orange juice. We had arranged to meet each other at the park to celebrate the fourth of July together as a team or as we all saw it with our family. Soon after Greg, Jacqui and Archie arrived along with Joanie all carrying a bowl or a plate with some kind of food.

We all sat down around a table, Nick and Warrick where setting up a barbeque, according to Nick the 4th of July couldn't be celebrated without a good steak and fireworks. We where sitting along the sides of the table talking to each other. Catherine and I where sitting side by side, having conversations with everyone around the table about the most random topics. Things that we usually would never discuss where now talked about.

After the picnic the guys decided to play some football, as usual the guys wanted everyone to join in but as usual the women made sure that they had a reason not to join in. We where still sitting at the table talking about 'girl stuff' when Grissom and Doc Robbins came back from a walk to the lake. They sat down at the other side of the table, watching the guys as they played there game more the once Greg was the one who was eating dust when one of the other guys took the ball from him. When he was finally fed up with it he just laid down in the grass, he was soon followed by Joanie who walked up to him to ask how he was doing. Hours later they where still chatting, Greg was sitting across from Joanie talking to her with big gestures. Joanie was laughing all the time, she really found her place in the graveyard shift team, a lot faster then I had managed to fit in but then again I arrived in a totally different situation. I looked at Catherine and asked without using words, if she wanted to take a walk with me up to the lake.


	21. Blurry images

**AN: **I did my research and I finally found out how they count the months and the weeks for that matter it is as followed. The pregnancy is being counted from the last period; women are usually most fertile around the 14th day after their period so that means that the first two weeks women aren't actually pregnant. And that is why you get the jump to week six in this chapter, it is actually a little jump two week jump ahead in time.

**Blurry images**

**Chapter 21**

Catherine got up and took my hand, together hand in hand we walked down the path towards the lake. As we stood there in the fading daylight, I felt happy. I wrapped an arm around Catherine hooking my thumb into her belt loop. Catherine leaned into my embrace sighing contently. "How are you holding up?" she asked me; gazing at me through the darkness.

"I'm good; it's just hard to come up with excuses why I am not drinking beer or coffee for that matter." I smiled at Catherine; "I am just hoping that we can keep this between us for a while. I want to wait for a while before we have to tell the guys."

"Yeah, but unfortunately we probably won't be able to keep it a secret for long given that we are all investigators. But on the other hand they are men. So maybe …" Catherine said as she wrapped her arms around me. She snuggled against me in my embrace.

"Let's sit down for a while." I whispered to Catherine as I released my embrace and sat down on the grass. Catherine sat down next to me, leaning her head against my shoulder. We watched the sun as it set, our surroundings becoming darker with the minute. We sat there for a while before we went back to the men. We got up and walked back slowly as we reached the path we where startled by a sound coming from the dark. Catherine took a step forward gazing into the darkness at our left she pulled me closer and pointed down the path as she smiled widely at me.

I chuckled softly when I saw what Catherine was pointing at, down the path two people where standing closely to each other barely inches apart. I recognised both Greg and Joanie, I watched him as he reached up and placed his hand on her cheek as he leaned in. He kissed Joanie careful as if he was seeking for approval. Seeing that she was leaning into him it was obvious that she was giving it to him. Catherine took my hand pulling me close to her she kissed me passionately before she turned away from me and almost dragged me up the dark path till we reached the field where the men where still talking and throwing a football across the field.

Nick and Warrick walked over to us as we reached the group, minutes later Greg and Joanie joined the group as well. Nick slapped Greg on his back as he pushed a can of beer into his hands, Greg's cheeks coloured a deep red as he stumbled over a simple 'thank you' as he opened the can and took a large sip.

Nick handed Catherine a beer and wanted to hand me one too, but I declined which was rewarded with a strange look from Nick. "I promised Catherine that I would drive us home after the fireworks so no alcohol for me."

"Okay!" Nick said as he pulled up his shoulders, still giving me a strange look. "Guys, let's sit down the fireworks are about to start!" He called out to the group as he placed the cans back on the picnic table. Blankets where spread on the ground and we all sat down Catherine leaned back onto her arms next to me. The fireworks explode above us at that exact moment, Catherine and I look up at the sky in awe. She turns around on her side and kisses me passionately placing her hand gently on my belly she smiles at me before she looks up again, for a minute forgetting about all the people around us.

**July 11th (week 6) **

**First ultrasound**

"Oh my god!" Catherine woke up with a start when she realised what day it was. She rubbed her eyes; "Today is the day!" she whispered, looking besides her she saw that her lover wasn't in the bed besides her. Looking at the alarm clock she saw that it was almost two in the afternoon. She had been awake for a while but didn't want to wake up just yet when she reminded what day it was. She quickly got up, and walked down the stairs where she found her lover on the couch!

"Sara?" Catherine kneeled down next to her lover leaning on the couch cushion with her elbows. "Are you okay?" she asked while she gently stroked her fingers through my hair. My eyes where hidden by the crook of my arm covering the upper half of my face.

"I'm nauseous …" I sighed; "Cath, if I lay real still do you think that it will go away."

"Eventually it will honey, have you eaten anything? Or can I get you anything, I could get you some crackers and mint tea, I read that it might help." Catherine wiped a strain of hair from my face; she softly placed a kiss on my lips while she placed a hand on my belly.

"Yes, please maybe it'll help … I don't know." Catherine got up and I could here her rummage through the cabinets in the kitchen.

Catherine was standing in the kitchen leaning her elbows on the counter reading the paper when I snaked my arms around her and kissed the curve of her neck.

"My guess is that you are feeling better!" Catherine stated as she leaned into my embrace.

"How did you guess that?" I ask innocently but unable to keep the chuckle behind.

Catherine chuckles as well; "I am glad that you feel better! Are you ready for our appointment with Susan?" I nod at Catherine's question and turn around to retrieve my keys and bag from the kitchen counter before I follow Catherine.

"Cath, we promised that we would send Lindsey a message and tell her the test results."

"I know honey; I've been thinking about that I wanted to ask an extra picture from the ultrasound for her. To send it to her,

Once again Catherine and I where sitting in the waiting area of Susan's office, this time we weren't the only family waiting there where some other couples as well. The other two women are obviously pregnant, pretty far along by the sights of it. It was odd to imagine the changes that my body would go through, before I would be that far along. "Sara, Catherine come in please!" Susan said as she guided us into her office. "Are you guys ready to see that little one for the first time?" She asked full with enthusiasm, as she guided our way through the door into the examination room.

"I take it that you know how it works this isn't the first time after all but still, are there any questions?"

"No, no questions at the moment, maybe later on." I answered Susan's question while I looked at Catherine who nodded her head. Catherine clutched my hand, placing her other hand on top of mine a comforting touch.

"Okay then, hop onto the bed and expose your belly, so that I can apply the gel and we can get this show running." Susan added with a broad smile. Catherine was standing besides me looking down on me, she quickly bend down and kissed me. Susan sat down on a stool besides the examination bed and flipped on the screen, she squirted the gel onto my exposed belly. Susan placed the transducer probe immediately a blurry image popped up on the screen. Susan looked at it for a couple of seconds replacing the transducer probe a couple of time, to get a clearer image. She pointed at the screen; "I would like you to meet your baby." She send us a big smile, I stared at the screen focussing on the image. Susan explained what she was seeing on the screen, I still couldn't understand how a gynaecologist could understand the images that they where seeing especially at this early stage. Catherine's hand was still clutching mine, I looked up at her my eyes went blurry my view blocked by tears of happiness. Looking at Catherine I saw the same reaction in her eyes. "Oh my god!" Was all she said.

"Would you like to have a picture of your baby for your baby book?" Susan asked.

"About that, could we maybe have two Lindsey is at camp and well given the special circumstances we told her what we where trying to do and she made us promise that we would send her a message once we knew more. And I thought that is might be a nice idea if we could send her a picture."

"Sure no problem, you know if you would like it and if you feel comfortable with it you can also take her with you on the next ultrasound. She might like to see that, but of course that is all up to you." Susan said as she handed us both a picture. "Now there are some tests that I would like to do, just some regular tests, blood works and stuff nothing to be worried about. These are the tests that I told you about last time." She wiped the gel from my belly with a paper towel, and handed us both a picture. I sat up and pulled Catherine close to me, between my legs and hugged her. I thanked her for giving me this opportunity and chance; "Thanks honey!"

"Babe we are doing this together, this is going to be our baby so I should thank you. There is no need to thank me." Catherine stroked her hand through my hair adjusting it behind my ear, while we both looked at the picture. "That is our little baby, yours and mine." Catherine said as she traced the picture.

Susan got up to retrieve a syringe to draw some blood for the tests and waited patiently, Catherine quickly moved to the side to give her room. "Okay, I'll send this to the lab along with the urine sample that I asked you to bring and that'll be it for this appointment. You can set your next appointment in a couple of weeks at the front desk with Shelly. Are there any questions that you would like to ask?" After we looked at each other we both nodded our heads. "Okay, good luck and I'll see you back here soon now if there are any questions you would like to ask don't hesitate to call me.

We say goodbye to Susan and make a new appointment at the front desk before we walk out of the clinic. "Let's go and buy a present for Linds so we can send her that with the picture and our note." Catherine suggests; "There is a mall right around the corner." We visit the mall for an hour and arrive back home with a small stuffed bear and a box from the post office to send the package in and a book to keep a diary about the events during the pregnancy. Catherine kept one when she was pregnant with Lindsey.

Catherine started writing Lindsey a letter as soon as we arrived home; I prepared dinner before we sat down at the counter and ate it. As I promised Catherine I was eating meat even though I still didn't like the idea. After dinner it was time to relax a little before we had to leave for work. Catherine sat down on the couch and gestured to the place next to her I eased down on the couch leaning my head onto Catherine's lap. She watched the news, as she absently stroked her fingers through my hair. Soon I drifted off to sleep until Catherine woke me up when we had to leave for work.


	22. Sleepyhead

**AN: **Okay every line between : and : is a telephone conversation!

**Sleepyhead**

**Chapter 22**

**Catherine's POV**

Half way through the shift Warrick approached me, he was working together with Sara on a case. He knocked on the door before he entered the lab that I was in. "Hey Cath, how's the case?"

"Mine, ow it's good it was an open and shut case. I am just working on some evidence to support the case for court, you know how they are."

"Yeah, they always need more evidence!" He looked down for a moment; "Have you by any chance seen Sara?"

"Well she stepped out of the interrogation room because she wanted to check up on something and asked me if I could handle the interrogation alone, well with Brass of course you know what I mean. But that was a while ago and now I can't seem to find her, and she didn't react on my page or my call." Warrick said as he pulled up his shoulders. "So I thought maybe you had seen her, or maybe she went out for dinner or something and she forgot her phone."

"To be honest, I haven't seen her but I might have an idea where I can find her. Do you need to talk to her right now?"

"No not really, I am just wondering where she is and what she was checking up on, that's all."

"Okay Warrick, let me finish this up and then I will go and see if I can find Sara. I am almost done, I send her to you when I find her."

"Okay thanks!" I waited a couple of minutes, before the lab and brought my evidence to the evidence vault. And then I made my way to my office, I was still used to calling it my office even though Sara had claimed her space in the room ever since our relationship became known on in the labs. As I approached my office I saw that I was probably right with my suspicion; the blinds where closed and the door shut. Which probably made Warrick assume that no one was inside; I tried to open the door but it was locked. I grabbed my key from my pocket and turned the key in the lock.

In the line of the light that fell into my office I could see Sara asleep on the couch, apparently oblivious to the world outside of the office. Some papers where scattered on the floor along with Sara's phone. I quickly closed the door behind me and walked over to Sara, I picked up the papers and laid them aside before I kneeled down next to the couch. I leaned my elbows on the couch and stroked Sara's cheek; I stroked a strain of hair behind her ear. "Sara honey, you gotta wake up!" I gently caressed her while I spoke those words to her. It didn't work Sara stirred a little but didn't wake up, but I had seen her pull this trick on me more then once so I choose a different approach. "Sara wake up Grissom is on his way over here!"

Sara immediately sat up; "What? … Why? … What did I do?" She mumbled confused with a voice thick by the sleep. She sat up and rubbed her eyes when she realised where she was. "Oh my God! I fell asleep on the job that never happens to me."

"Honey, calm down it was just a joke. I know … I know bad one! But I wanted to wake you up and the gentle way wasn't working, and well that 'other thing' that I usually do when you don't want to wake up well I wasn't about to do that here uhuh, that is private bedroom stuff." I said with a mischievous grin.

**Sara's POV**

I slapped Catherine; but grinned widely at her. Catherine got up and sat down on the couch her back against the back of the couch while she guided me to lie down; my head in her lap. Catherine's fingers absently stroked through my hair.

"You know honey, I am glad to see that you give into your fatigue." Catherine smiled at me; "I am glad to see that you are doing all these things that are important, no caffeine or alcohol, eating meat and well take some rest when you feel tired."

"I know honey, I promised you I would do everything I need to do."

"I know …" Catherine looked down at me a smile covering her face; her eyes sparkled. "I love you, babe!" Catherine bend down, placing a hand on my belly while she kissed me tenderly. I bit her lip, tracing my tongue along her lips before I kissed her back. Catherine sat back up leaning against the back of her couch,

"Why did you come in here, where you looking for me?"

"Yes I was, well actually I wasn't Warrick was looking for you but he couldn't find you and he thought that you might have gone out and forgot your cell phone or something. So he came to me and asked me if I knew where you where?" Catherine pushed a strain of hair behind her ear. "I said to him that I would tell you that he was looking for you when I saw you."

"Ow he was probably wondering why I left the interrogation; I said that I wanted to check up on something. But I wasn't feeling too well, that is why I left. When I came from the bath room I came here and sat down on the couch for a while reading through the file, but then apparently I fell asleep." I sighed; "So what should I tell Warrick when he asks me what I was checking up on?"

"Just tell him that you got some details mixed up, with our caseload he will probably believe that without a doubt." Catherine smiled; "Don't worry about it! Let's get back to work, okay?"

**Catherine's POV**

_: "Mom!": _Lindsey exclaimed through the phone, I held the horn away from my ear the second I heard my daughters exited voice.

"Hey sweetie, how are you? How is the summercamp?" I laughed, when I heard her chuckle.

_: "It's awesome but that's not why I am calling!" : _I could just imagine what my daughter was looking like, standing with the phone clutched in her hand, while her other hand rested on her hip rolling her eyes. _: "I am calling because I just received your package, so I am going to have a little brother or sister?" :_

"Yes honey, Sara is pregnant we are going to have a new addition in about 9 months." I said like a proud mom to be.

_: "How's Sara, can I talk to Sara?" :_

"Sara is fine, she has been a little sick but nothing too bad yet! I don't know if you can talk to her honey, I have to check on her she was sleeping earlier."

_: "Ow common' mom! Sara sleeping?" :_

"Yes honey, it's the pregnancy it makes her tired. The fatigue, it's all normal so don't worry about that okay sweetie?" I asked my little girl reassuring that she would understand that this was normal in a pregnancy. At that moment I felt Sara's arms wrap around my body from behind. She pushed her body against mine and gently took the phone from me: while she kissed the curve of my neck.

"Hey sweetie!" I said into the telephone immediately I was greeted by a cheery exclaimed voice.

_: "Hi Sara, congratulations! This is so awesome, I can't wait to meet my lil' sister or … brother!" :_

"Well sweetie, that makes three of us believe me. Your mom and I are really excited!"

_: "Sara, I am sorry I gotta go. Take care of yourself and my little brother or sister. See you in a few days, bye bye!" :_

"Bye sweetie!" Catherine and I both said at the same time.

I laid down the phone on the counter, and hugged Catherine. She leaned her head against my shoulder her hands placed on my lower back. "I love you!" She mumbled in my embrace; "I love both of you!"


	23. Going through the motions

**AN: **My muse decided to take a vacation, which I think is very selfish of my muse because I didn't have one. I wanted to update this story weeks ago but I couldn't I had so much trouble to come up with this story. Besides that a nice girl who loves you is also way too distracted but I love it.

**AN2:** I have to add this as well, Isabella my girl helped me out with this chapter without her this chapter wouldn't be here. So thank you again babe for helping me out. Babe, I love you!

**Going through the motions**

**Chapter 23**

I looked up at the clock; we still had time before we had to work. I inhaled the intoxicating scent of Catherine's shampoo. "I love you too, babe!" I whispered softly. Catherine looked up at me, her intense blue eyes pierced into mine. Sometimes it was as if she could read my mind, her genuine smile turned into a smirk as she released herself from my embrace.

"We got some time left before we have to get ready for work, don't we?" She asked with a mischievous smile.

"Yes, I am sure that we have more then enough time to do a lil' bit of this." I mumbled as I leaned down and kissed the curve in Catherine's neck. She giggled as she rushed up the stairs; I quickly followed her. I found Catherine's bathrobe half way down the hallway between the stairs and our bedroom door. As I pushed the door open; I saw Catherine's perfect shaped body against the sunbeams that shone through the half open curtains into the bed room.

I couldn't help but stare at her for what seemed like a lifetime. Catherine was just standing there while I pick my jaw up from the floor and manage to walk up to her. She reaches her arm; her hands grasp mine the second I come into her reach. She pulls me close to her as she gives me a searing kiss. Seconds later her hands where entangled in my hair, as her body pushes into mine. She ran her hands down my sides and pulled me even closer, and leaned in to kiss me. It was as if two bodies melted into one for a brief moment. She placed her hands over my breasts and I hissed in pain moving back a little.

"Did I hurt you, babe?" Catherine asks as she shied her hands away from my breasts as if she had burned herself.

"I'm sorry no you didn't … just really sensitive. Please don't hold that against me!" I said with a smirk while I moan between the words when Catherine's hands where placed on my sides. I pull Catherine closer to me and kiss her until my lips felt senseless; the sensation noticeable in her eyes takes away my breath. I can feel the tingling sensation in my belly when I look into those darkened eyes.

"I won't hold that against you, never. And I promise you that I'll be really careful then …" Catherine murmured as she bends down and traces a circle around my nipple with the tip of her tongue. I arched my back into her touch; Catherine's hands slide down my sides. Her thumbs hook under the hem off my top. She slowly moves it up inch by inch. She bends down and flicks her tongue over my bellybutton. Smiling broadly as she moves my top up a little more revealing my breasts as soon as they are revealed; she flicks her tongue gently over my nipple. She gently helps me out of my top and drops it on the floor.

I moan; pushing my breast harder into your touch. Catherine smiles hovering above me; when she sees the response that her actions have on me. I reach up and place my hand on Catherine's at the back of her head; I pull her close to me and kiss her passionately. I love the way that she makes me feel. My pulse is racing, the blood pumping through my veins. She breathes heavily as my hands stroke across her breasts teasing her; while my hands slide down her sides.

Catherine's mouth travels a path down my neck to my collarbone, sucking on it. She knows how much I love it when she does that; and I know that she's teasing me. And telling by the smug smile I can only say that she loves it. She bends down again flicking her tongue over my nipples, while her hand travels down my belly to the button of my jeans. She opens the button but moves her hand back up to my breasts; her hands are both massaging my breasts her thumbs softly touching my nipples.

Catherine moves herself besides me from a straddling position. Her hand wanders over my body as she unzips the pants that I am wearing. She bends down and kisses my stomach; "I can't wait till you start showing." She says between the butterfly kisses in which she is covering my belly in. Tears of utter happiness sting in my eyes.

Catherine's tugging my pants down, one leg at a time, her hands doing these soft, teasing, circular motions on my thighs and legs that she knows which drive me mad. Rid of my pants and panties Catherine stands before me, watching me. "You are so beautiful!" She whispers, her sultry voice sending shivers down to my toes. And she moves, like a feline on the prow. Gracefully, determined she crawls on top of me, straddling my hips and locking my gaze. I gasp as I feel her wetness pressed against me. Her blue orbs are dark with lust and I find my mind loosing touch with everything but that deep, dark blue. Then she captures my lips with hers and I'm lost. Her hands rummage over my body while her lips devour me. I moan softly; breathing in hard. Catherine's tongue slips out and traces my lips quickly; she bends down a little deeper and bites my lower lip. My eyes and touches are filled with desire; I want to touch her all over show her how much I love her. "Catherine, sweetie I love you."

"Babe I can see how much you love me each time I look at you. It's in your eyes …" Catherine sighed as she moved backwards. "It's undeniable …" Catherine leaned down and kissed the inside of my left upper thigh while her hands stroked over them. She started at my knee slowly advancing further upwards. The moment Catherine almost reached my centre she moved back again towards my other knee and gave my thigh the same treatment. I felt as if my body was ready to explode. The feelings and teasing was about to get too much; Catherine smiled deviously at me teasing me until I begged her to stop. I was barely able to speak the words on my lips; "Cath! … Oh my God! … Don't tease me!"

Catherine smiled and bends down, flicking her tongue over my centre teasing me a couple of times. Her fingers gently touch me before she slips one finger into my centre. I moan, bucking my hips into Catherine's touch. Catherine adds another finger; she changes the pace of her movements, quickly sending me over the edge; while her tongue flicks over my clit. My body trembles as I moan deeply; trying to let the moment last just a little longer.

"Honey?" Catherine softly said to me while she kissed my shoulder as she leaned in over my body. She gently woke me up, stroking her hand over my arm. "Are you awake?"

"Hmmm, yeah … kinda." I mumbled my voice cracking as I spoke up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me, still repeating the same stroking motion.

"I am doing fine as long as I don't try to get up." I turned onto my back and looked up at my lover. "You already showered?" I asked Catherine, as I wrapped a strain of her damp hair around my finger.

"Yes, well I thought that I would let you sleep a little longer because we have to pick Lindsey up." Catherine's genuine smile turned into a smirk. "And of course last night was pretty exhausting!" I swatted Catherine on her arm and tried to get up the movement was too abrupt and a wave of nausea hit me.

"Honey, if you're not up for it you don't have to come with me, I am sure that Lindsey will understand."

"I know don't worry, but I will be okay and I will come with you." I smiled at Catherine; "I wanna see my lil' girl too!"

"I know you do, we both missed her." Catherine stared in the distance; "You know you really are a good parent to Lindsey, I am sure that you will do an awesome job with this one too." Catherine placed her hand on top of mine which rested on top of my belly.

"Thank you!" I mouthed to Catherine as tears of happiness stung in my eyes. I moved into a sitting position on the bed. As I closed my eyes I tried to stop another wave of nausea; I quickly got up and got into the bathroom where I was bending over the toilet puking my guts out when Catherine got into the bathroom behind me. She holds my hair up; out of my face. She rubbed her hand over my back in slow circles in a soothing gesture. I sat down on the floor and leaned back against the tub trying to catch my breath and to stop my head from spinning. Catherine sat down next to me as she wiped my face with a cold washcloth.

I got up and looked into the mirror as I rinsed my mouth with the water that Catherine had handed me; I looked pale, and tired even though I was sleeping more then I usually did. "I'm okay, I have to be …" I whispered to my reflection hoping that it would strengthen me.

Catherine appeared behind me, she caressed my back barely touching me. "I'm okay …" I said before she could say anything and stepped back into the bedroom where I retrieved a pair of pants and a tank top. I ate some crackers and drank some herbal tea that Catherine prepared for me when I came down the stairs.

"Honey, are you sure?" Catherine asked one last time before she turned the key in the ignition. I nodded at her; to reassure her and put my sunglasses on; I knew that she knew that I wouldn't resign if I set my mind to something. I wasn't about to stay home when I promised Lindsey that I would come and pick her up.

Catherine and I got into the car; she drove all the way to the campsite where we left Lindsey a couple of weeks ago. Catherine can't stop smiling while she drives us down to the labs. Each time she looks in my direction a broad smile erupts on her face, she looks at me when she pulls up in front of a traffic light. I can't help but bend over to her and kiss her on her lips, before the light flashes to green. Catherine quickly places her hand on my cheek and kissed me back tenderly. She averted her look back to the road and pulled up.

I knew that we where both excited to see our little girl back. We talked on the phone for a little while earlier this week and Lindsey told us that she made some new friends and that they would stay in contact through the internet when she came back and that she had an awesome time but that she was ready to come home as well. I gazed outside the window once again thinking about how much our life would change in these coming months.

We had been driving for 30 minutes when another wave of nausea hits me; "Cath, please stop the car?" I asked Catherine, as soon as she stopped the car I was out of it and into the high grass besides the road, puking my guts out for the second time this day. Catherine is besides me within seconds, stroking my back in a soothing manner and holding out a bottle of water. I take a sip of the water and rinse out my mouth.

Catherine parks the car between the cars of the other parents. We get out and walk to the entrance of the camp site together. That is where we wait to see what happens next.


	24. Changes

**AN:** In this chapter we make a jump into the future, which takes us from the sixth or seventh week to the 12th week.

**Changes  
Chapter 24**

Catherine stood close to me, as we where waiting her hand absently searched form mine. She finally found it and entangled her fingers in mine, something that she often did when she was longing for contact; but knew that it would be inappropriate at that particular moment. I smiled at her knowing that she was anxiously waiting to see Lindsey just as I was.

Minutes later the gate open the camp leaders motion all the parents to gather up and step inside. We walk down a long lane to the actual campsite. All the kids are waiting near the lake waiting for their parents to arrive. This afternoon they can show their parents what they did and learned during the weeks at summer camp. Catherine spots Lindsey almost instantly, I wonder if it is maternal instinct that guides Catherine or that it has more to do with our work; which of course is all about observation.

Lindsey came running when she spotted us, within seconds a blonde whirl wind embraced Catherine. Catherine was so happy to see Lindsey; all she could do was wrap her arms around her daughter and wiped a tear away that escaped her eyes. Lindsey turned around as soon as Catherine let her go and hugged me as well. "Hi Sara, how's my lil' brother or sister doing?" She asked me while she stepped back and looked at me from tip to toe.

"We are both doing fine, don't worry I am talking good care of this lil' one." I said to Lindsey with a smile. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me with crossed arms. "You don't look different …" she stated. Catherine smiled when she looked at her daughter probably not aware that she had the same expression on her face when she was examining evidence.

"Of course not, honey." Catherine said as she stepped in closer. "It takes some time before you can see that someone is pregnant." I smiled at Lindsey, she hugged me again; "Cool!" She exclaimed as if she just realized that it was real. Later that day the camp leaders organised a party. Some kids performed some sketches, while others received prices and some awards where given to children who had achieved different things during their weeks at the camp. After that there was a barbeque and we where introduced to Lindsey's new friends.

We walked to the car after a very eventful day; both Catherine and I where carrying one of Lindsey's bags. Lindsey herself carried her backpack. "She's almost as bad as you are!" I said to Catherine with a smug smile playing on my face. Catherine shook her head and placed the bag into the back of the car. She turned around and swatted my arm playfully. I put the bag in the back of the car as well. "Sweetie, get in the car so we can go home." Catherine said to me as I turned to look at her.

"Give me the keys, I'll drive so you and Lindsey can talk." Catherine sends me one of those bright smiles. She leaned into me her hand resting on my side; she presses her lips against mine. She handed me the keys; and closed my fingers around them. She broke the kiss; as soon as it started it also ended. Catherine disappeared around the corner of the car. I opened the door to the driver side of the car and waited for the others to be buckled in before I started the car. Lindsey wasn't silent for one second during the drive home. She rambled on and on about her camp.

Later that day we where enjoying our night off, Lindsey finally went to bed. I was sitting on the couch; leaning against Catherine. Her arms where wrapped around me. Her hand was slowly caressing the back of my neck. I leaned into her touch enjoying the shivers that it sent through my spine. Catherine smiled and kissed me tenderly.

"I am hungry, sweetie. Do you want something to eat?" I turned around and looked at Catherine; she smiled while she shook her head.

"No sweetie, but feel free to get something if you want to. You gotta take care of yourself and our baby; you're eating for two now …" Catherine placed her finger under my chin she leaned in and kissed me tenderly. "Now go and make yourself something to eat."

I got up but not before I leaned in and kissed Catherine's tender lips once more. I got up and walked into the kitchen, I checked the fridge and freezer to see what we had. I retrieved some items and turned back to the kitchen counter. I turned around and took a bowl from the cabinet as well as a spoon.

I made myself a bowl of ice cream covered in chocolate sprinkles. Catherine got up from the couch and turned down the lights in the living room. And joined me in the kitchen; her arms snaked around my waist. She nodded her head when she saw the mess that I made in the kitchen. The ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and coconut shavings where all over the counter. "Hungry, babe?" She asked her laughter audible in her voice.

"This is so good!" I said while I ate a spoonful of the contents of my bowl. "But there is something missing, although I am not sure what …"

Catherine bend down and opened one of the cabinets under the counter. She picked something up and put it on the countertop; "Maybe this is what you miss?" Catherine asked with a smug smile on her face.

"Pickles!" I exclaimed with a happy smile before I opened the jar and took a bite from one of the pickles. I stared at it for a second and dipped it into my bowl of ice cream … Catherine shivered; she probably never thought that I would really eat it. "I'm going upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll see you when you're done with your …" Catherine pointed at the bowl; "Whatever you call it …"

**Catherine's POV**

She walked up the stairs while she was nodding her head. She only brought the pickles up as a joke. She never thought that Sara would really go for it. She would have never ever guessed that Sara would give in to all the cravings that pregnancy would bring onto her but apparently she was just like most other women during there pregnancies.

I could hear the stairs creak as Sara came upstairs; I knew that soon she would slip her body between the sheets and spoon my body. Within seconds I felt that she lift the sheets up and moved close to my body; she rested her arm comfortably on my hip stroking my upper leg and hip softly.

**Sara's POV **

**August 14th (week 12)**

**Heartbeat**

"Catherine, are you ready to go?" I asked Catherine as I leaned against the door frame.

She put down her reading glasses on the table and looked up from the file that she had been reading; "Is it time already?" I nodded my answer, as Catherine got up and picked up her files which she put on the pile that was on the table already. I stepped closer to her and stood between the table and Catherine's chair. She rested her hand on my thigh. "How are you feeling?" She asked as she looked up at me.

"I am fine, are you okay …" Catherine nodded, as her hand travelled up my thigh to my belly. Her hand slipped between the fabric of my shirt and my belly. "We can't hide that belly of yours much longer. We better tell the guys this within the next couple of days."

"I know that we should tell them soon. Greg already made a comment when he saw me eating some chocolate the other day." Catherine smiled she could just imagine Greg sayings something like that to Sara. He was probably the only person who could get away with saying something like that. I quickly got up; "We bet get going or we will be late for our appointment with Susan." I waited for Catherine to finish clearing her desk and handed her bag to her.

As we walked down the hallway, Catherine stopped and knocked on Grissom's door; she opened the door and looked inside. "Grissom, Sara and I are leaving now. We'll see you tonight!"

Grissom barely looked up from the book that he was reading; probably one of his entomology books. "Yes see you tonight." He mumbled between his teeth as he jotted down some words on a piece of paper. Catherine closed the door and nodded her head. "That man is just unbelievable." She mumbled between her teeth as we walked down the hallway.

"It's Grissom …" I say as if that explains everything which in his case is pretty much the truth. I entangle my fingers in Catherine's as we walk down the hallway.

"Sara Sidle?" The nurse said as she looked at the chart; and then back to us. This time we had brought Lindsey with us. "Dr. Phillips is ready to see you now." She opened the door and let us in. Just like the last time Susan was sitting behind her desk. "Sara, Catherine, welcome! Come in please." Susan got up and walked around her table; "Let me guess that must be Lindsey?" She said when she saw Lindsey standing besides her mother.

"Yes, I am Lindsey Willows." Lindsey said as she approached Susan and took her hand.

"Hi Lindsey, my name is Susan. I'm Sara's doctor which you could probably figure out by yourself." She smiled at Lindsey. "My God! Catherine she looks so much like you, it's uncanny. Please sit down." Susan asked some questions about the pregnancy, changes in my body and lifestyle. The usual questions that should be asked at a prenatal check up. Then Susan measured my blood pressure before she told me to take a seat on the examination bed and lay down as she took out the gel and transducer probe. Lindsey and Catherine where standing on the opposite side of the examination table, next to me. Catherine was holding my hand, anxiously waiting till we could see our little baby again.

Susan took it upon herself to explain to Lindsey what she was doing step by step; something that always worked well on Lindsey's curiosity; one of the trades that she defiantly inherited from her mother. Lindsey nodded and asked some questions, which Susan happily answered.

"Do you know what this is?" Susan asked as she held up another device. Lindsey nodded her head. "It's a device which allows us all to hear the baby's heartbeat with. Now the heartbeat is a really fast thumping sound but that is all normal; nothing to worry about." Susan placed the device on my swollen belly, immediately the room was filled with the loud, fast thumping sound of a foetal heart rate. For a couple of seconds everyone was silent, holding their breaths and listening in awe. After a couple of minutes she put the device away.

And took out the transducer probe; for the second time we laid eyes on our baby. "Do you know if it will be a girl or a boy?" Lindsey asked; "Do you want to know?" She asked diverting her eyes from me to Catherine and back.

"No we don't want to know, not yet anyways. Maybe we'll wait till this little one arrives. But at this moment we don't want to know." Catherine answered as she looked into my eyes. Probably to see if I still thought the same way about this subject.


	25. Tears

**Tears**

**Chapter 25**

**Catherine POV**

I looked at my wife; wondering when the next emotional outbreak would be. It wasn't even twelve o' clock on a Saturday morning and Sara had already been in tears twice. In the old days Sara had always been the girl who hid her feelings from everyone. You could only see what she felt when you where able to notice the slight differences in her eyes. She was now the person who cried twice before the morning was over.

I almost couldn't believe it when I stepped into the living room where Sara was watching the news. Sara quickly whipped away the tears but none the less I knew that she had been crying. I sat down next to Sara and asked her what was wrong. Sara told me about the story on the news._ There was a trucker who threw out a box with eight kittens in it. The box landed in a ditch and half of the kittens drowned._ She cried her eyes out while she was telling the story. Of course it was a sad thing that happened but not something that Sara would usually cry about.

Now I was leaning against the doorframe to our bedroom, Sara was sitting on the bed. Clothes scattered around her on the floor and the bed. The doors of the closet where open in front of Sara; who was sitting on the bed, leaning her face in her hands. Occasionally a tear dropped on Sara's thighs.

"Sara, sweetie? Are you okay?" I asked worried as I sat down next to her. I wrapped my arms around Sara and hugged her close to me.

Sara looked up, tears filling her eyes before she spoke up. "My favourite jeans don't fit anymore."

"Sara! Is that all! Damn I thought something else was going on." I had to laugh, even though I knew that I really shouldn't laugh at Sara in this emotional state.

"It's not funny!" Sara exclaimed when she looked at my smiling face.

"Honey, this is just one of the pleasures of pregnancy, you know that. Just put some other clothes on. We'll go out and buy some new clothes later today after we have breakfast if you want to. But you know what this means?"

"No, what?" Sara asked looking at me.

"That we have to tell the guys at work, tonight preferably. You're really starting to show now." Catherine smiled; "And in my opinion it's better when we tell them instead of them finding out. They are investigators after all, they are about to find out sooner or later."

Two minutes later I was hanging the clothes back into the closet while Sara was putting some clothes on, finally. I looked up and saw Sara standing in front of the mirror. Her hand was sliding over her the slight bump under her long sleeve shirt. I couldn't help but stop what I was doing and walk over to Sara. I wrapped my arms around Sara from behind. My hands slides down her sides and rested on her belly. I watched Sara's reaction, reflected in the mirror. Her tears have dried up; and are replaced with a gorgeous smile.

Sara turned around in my arms; looking deep into her eyes I only saw love and happiness. Sara leaned in and kissed me tenderly. Shivers went up my spine when I kissed her back. Her lips softly touching mine; her eyes where closed as she deepened the kiss. My hand touched her belly lightly; Sara had no idea how incredibly sexy she looked. She leaned in again and tried to kiss me but I stopped her as I laid my finger onto her lips. She looked at me surprised; "What?"

"We better stop this now that we still can; we should clean up and get something to eat. And then go and get some new clothes for you." Sara nodded at me, knowing that I was right didn't make it any easier to let her go.

**Sara's POV**

I let go of Catherine, she was right nevertheless it was hard to let her go. But we had a busy day ahead of us. I decided to get dressed in the bathroom while Catherine gathered the clothes on the bed and folded them before she put them back in the closet. "Sara, next time you can't find clothes please ask me for help before you pull all you clothes out of the closet. You know, if Lindsey would do this I would make her clean up her own mess …"

"Yes, I know but I have my ways to charm you into cleaning it up for me."

"Right … well, I better find a way then to resist those charms because we also have a teenage daughter who will take advantage of this as soon as she finds out that I clean up your mess." Catherine said with a smile. "Teenagers always pick these things up and then I have to come up with a reason why I clean up the clothes that you scatter all over the room while I won't do hers." Catherine closed the doors to the cupboard; she turned around and looked at me. "Let's get something to eat before we go shopping."

I rolled my eyes, I hate shopping. Shopping in my terms means that I run into as less stores as I can and then grab some clothes that I like. Try them on for size and then run out as fast as I can. Shopping in my terms means that I'll be gone two hours max. Now shopping in Catherine's terms that is a totally different thing. It takes hours and we get home with too many bags, and too much money spent. And I know that it will be one of those shopping trips.

Thirty minutes later we where in the car; heading for the shopping mall. Catherine parked the car, and we walked into the crowded shopping mall. I was glad that Catherine was with me, she knew exactly where all the stores that we had to go are. We where browsing through the stores; until it was time for us to pick up Lindsey. Right now I wasn't ready to wear maternity clothing just yet; at this point I'd rather buy some clothes a size or two bigger then usual.

Within a couple of hours we arrived back at the car; holding more bags then we could carry. We picked up Lindsey from school; and headed home. We ordered in Chinese food and watched a movie while we ate it. Lindsey wanted to eat with chopsticks even though she had never done it before; she was struggling to get anything inside. I looked at her as she struggled for a couple of minutes; "Lindsey, I can help you with those chopstick, if you want. There is a trick so you can eat with chopsticks in a really easy way. Do you want me to show it to you?" Lindsey nodded her head; "Can you get me a piece of paper and a rubber band for me."

Lindsey got up and ran to the kitchen; she returned back seconds later. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, I fold the paper like this, and then I take the chopsticks and put them on either side of the folded paper and then I wrap the rubber band around it, like this. And you can use it like you would use tweezers. See like this.." I explained as I picked up some food from the plate and fed it to Lindsey.

"Can I try?" Lindsey asked eagerly to try eating with chopsticks.

"Here you go." I said as I handed the chopsticks to Lindsey. Lindsey watched the movie, sitting on the floor in front of us. Catherine and I ate our food and both set down our plates the second we finished. "Would you like something to drink?" I asked Catherine as I got up; I gathered the plates and took them with me into the kitchen. "Orange juice, soda, milk? What do you want?" I asked as I rummaged through the fridge to see what else we had.

"An orange juice would be nice." Catherine answered; as Lindsey leaned back to against the couch. Catherine immediately leaned in and started to braid Lindsey's long blonde hair.

"Can I have some soda, please?" Lindsey asked,

"Sure you can, sweetie." I returned to the living room with three glasses; I put them down on the table.

Later that evening we left the house and dropped Lindsey off at Jenn's house before we headed to work. Tonight would be the night that we would reveal our secret to our friends and family. Because the guys at work where like family to us.

**AN: **My friends Jackie and Susan at Tropic Wave Radio dot net told the story about the puppy's a while ago on their radio show 'What's happening Brevard'. (Yes, that is the same -- Melbourne Beach -- Brevard county as in which Jorja used to live!) The people at Friendz4life dot org ( a no kill animal shelter run by a 12 year old boy named Zachary )took in the abandoned kittens, or at least the ones that survived. I decided to use this story in this chapter because it fitted.


	26. The secret is out!

**Chapter 26 **

**The secret is out!**

Catherine and I had been sent out on separate assignments; I hadn't seen or heard from her all night. She told me that she would talk to Grissom to ask him to call a meeting in the morning after shift. While I headed off to my crime scene with Warrick, she stepped into Grissom's office. I came back into the labs early in the morning with only a couple of hours left on this shift. We had a double murder and quite a big scene to cover for just the two of us.

Catherine got up the second she saw me enter the hallway through the windows. She poured me some orange juice into a glass and handed it to me when I entered the break room. "I talked to Grissom and asked him if he could send out a text message for a meeting in the break room after shift."

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Catherine asked with a concerned look in her eyes as she scanned my face.

"Yes … yes I am, I'm just a little nervous, but there is no need to worry about me."

"Why? There is no reason to be nervous?" Catherine asked as she stroked a strand of hair out of my face.

"There is, you never know how they will react to it. Me marrying you is one thing having and raising a child together is something else." I said to Catherine explaining why I felt nervous. "I am probably worrying for nothing aren't I?"

"Sweetie, listen to me." Catherine said as she pulled my chin up with her finger to be able to look into my eyes. "Of course we don't know what they will say. But they have been very positive about the other things. So I don't really see a problem. They never asked about Lindsey when we told them that we had a relationship. Because they knew that they didn't have to ask that cos I won't tie the knot with someone who doesn't accept Linds as a part of the family."

"But still Lindsey was twelve and she had a dad, but this little one will only have two moms …"

"No, Lindsey had Eddie, a pitiful excuse of a father. He wasn't around half of the time, and if he was there on time to pick her up he would put her down in front of the television with a movie while he conducted 'business' in one of the other rooms. You've been more of a parent these past couple of years then Eddie has ever been." She leaned in and kissed me, I kissed Catherine back. The softest touch of her lips on mine, it was sensational. Catherine moved her hand between our bodies to my belly as she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper; "Besides 'this' baby will also have a wonderful extended family. And I am sure that they will all have a part in our life. And they will always be here; ready to help whenever we or our kids want or need something." Catherine smiled at me. "I really think that we have nothing to fear, I think that they will be very happy for us."

"Thank you honey, I love you. You always know how to cheer me up when I am down or confused." I started laughing; Catherine looked at me as if I was going crazy.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Just imagine what our child would be like under the influence of all of these different people."

Catherine laughed as she thought about it; "Our kid would have your stunning looks and your intelligence. Of course he or she would have my style. Hopefully he or she will also take over Warrick's charm and good manner, Nick's friendliness and kindness, Grissom's knowledge but hope fully not his people skills and Greg's humour." Catherine smiled at me; "Although I am not sure how happy I should be with some of those things." Catherine's finger was hooked into the belt loops on my pants as she leaned in really close, I could feel her hot breath on my skin.

At that moment the door bursts open and Greg walks in; "Sorry to interrupt but someone needs to get their caffeine levels up, and no I am not talking about myself this time. I have actually managed to find someone who drinks even more coffee then me! Can you imagine that?" Greg exclaimed without taking one single breath; his eyes shinning brightly. His whole face lit up when he talked about Joanie. "You two did leave me some coffee right?" He asked in a more uncertain tone.

"We never even touched your coffee." I said to Greg.

"No, we have orange juice." Catherine said as she held up her glass for Greg to see the yellow juice.

"You sure you don't want any?" Greg asked when he saw that he still had a full pot of coffee in the coffee machine.

"Yes we are sure, thank you." Catherine said turning to me; "Are you coming with me? I want to show you something."

I quickly followed Catherine out of the break room, knowing that we would be back here soon enough to tell the guys about our exiting news.

"Sit down!" Catherine said as she closed the door behind her. She quickly closed the blinds and sat down next to me on the couch. I wrapped my arm around Catherine's shoulders and pulled her close to me. "I love you" I whispered into her ear.

"I love you too, both of you." Catherine said to me as she looked into my eyes, deeply. She sighed happily and laid her head down on my shoulder her arm resting against my belly.

At that moment both of our beepers went off. The message was short and straight to the point, so typically Grissom.

: Meeting break room 10 mins :

We both got up and looked at each other for a couple of seconds. "Are you ready, sweetie?" Catherine asked, scanning my face.

"As ready as I ever be. Besides that we have to tell them, it's not like we can hide it much longer." I said as I looked down at my belly, and the small bump that was getting more and more visible.

"That's true, let's go. It'll be fine."

We entered the break room at the same moment that Greg and Joanie arrived. Nick and Warrick where already inside and the other lab techs, Jacqui, Bobby and Archie arrived seconds later. It was an odd group usually the lab techs and the CSI's had different meetings so a couple of people had a bit of strained look on there face. While they where trying to figure out what was going on.

Grissom entered the break room last, a folder in his hand as if he was about to hand out assignments or start a meeting. He sat down at the head of the table as he usually always did. Everyone took a seat and waited impatiently till Grissom would start. They where surprised when he didn't …

"What's up Grissom? Why did you call this meeting?"

"I have no idea, Catherine asked me if I could invite you all for this meeting so she is the one you should ask what this is about." Catherine looked at me as she fidgeted with the hem of her top. "Yes, I asked Grissom to send out the message about this meeting because I, I mean we wanted to talk to you all. Sara and I have an announcement to make." Catherine turned and looked at me waiting for me to tell the guys. She gave me an encouraging smile and took my hand in hers.

I cleared my throat before I spoke up; "What Cath and I want to tell you is that we are having a baby, I'm pregnant!"

Seconds after I spoke the words all kinds of positive comments sounded through the break room along with good luck wishes and questions. Warrick got up and came around the table; he wrapped his arms around me and Catherine and hugged us. "Congratulations!" He said his low warm voice sounding so happy. He looked from one to the other; his light eyes had a twinkle in them. "I knew this day would come!"

"You knew?" I asked in surprise.

"Well yeah I knew that this day would come one day. I didn't know that you were pregnant now. But through all that talk about 'kids don't like me and stuff' I saw that kids do like you and that you reacted on them. You showed that with that little girl a couple of years back and with Lindsey. You'll be a great mom!"

Nick was next; "Congratulations!" He said as he walked up to us; and hugged both Catherine and I.

"You're pregnant, and you're happy about that!" Greg exclaimed, a twinkle in his eyes and a goofy smile showing that he was only joking. "Hey I've seen 'the L word', I mean women, women and even more women … You didn't expect me to miss that, right! I just had to say that! But seriously, I am happy for you this is awesome news. Congratulations!"

Grissom waited until everyone sat back down before he got up; "I am happy for you both, congratulations. But of course I have to talk to you both about arrangements; you know fieldwork and pregnancy leaves and things like that."

Jacqui, Bobby, Archie and Joanie each congratulated us happily before sitting down. "So tell us about it, we want details!" Greg exclaimed as he jumped up.

"Details, well I am a little over three months pregnant. I'm due at the beginning of March; we had two ultra sounds and so far so good. Before you ask, we do not know whether it is a boy or a girl and we have decided that we don't want to know."

"Well this sure explains some things." Warrick said as he smiled looking very content with himself. "I was wondering where the sudden addiction for orange juice instead of coffee came from but this sure explains it."

"Yes and also why you are opting to take the perimeter instead of the crime scene. It's because of the morning sickness isn't it?" Nick asked. "I should have known, I've seen my sisters go through it as well."

"Yes that is the reason, the smell it's just too much so I try to avoid those things. And yes you should have known, you call yourself investigators but you don't even notice what's happens right under your noses." Catherine and I chuckled. We had wondered many times when they would find out, because they where on top of everything that changed. A couple of times I had even thought that I had been caught by one of the lab techs or CSI's, when I turned away from food or just the simple fact that I wasn't drinking coffee anymore. It really surprised me that didn't put one and one together sooner.

A while later we broke up meeting; packed our things and left the building. Catherine started the car and wanted to drive off when Warrick came out of the building, waving his hand. Catherine pulled up besides him and wound down the window. "Hi, I just spoke to Nick, and we want to take you out for dinner, to celebrate. We where thinking about a dinner at the restaurant that you choose; just the graveyard shift and bring Lindsey. Tonight at six would that suit you or is that too inconvenient?"

"That is very nice of you, it seems like a good plan and we would really like that, wouldn't we?" Catherine answered.

"I would love that; feel free to choose whatever restaurant you want. Oh by the way, nowadays I eat meat so that won't be a problem either." Warrick gave me a weird look but didn't ask anything.

"Alright then, we'll call with the details this afternoon. Have a good 'night' sleep, and I'll see you tonight." Warrick said as he stepped back to give Catherine the room to drive off.


	27. Getting ready

**Chapter 27**

**Getting ready**

The harsh sound of my phone cut through my dreams, I look up cautiously at the alarm clock and see what time it is; before I raise my arm and pick up my cell phone. "Sidle." I mumble into the phone.

_: "Sara, damn did I wake you up girl?" :_ I hear Warrick's warm voice saying on the other side of the line.

"Yes Warrick, nowadays I actually do sleep." I chuckle; "You see I have to be responsible now, it's not just me anymore. I have a family and a baby on the way."

_: "You're right about that!" : _ He chuckles as well. _: "Sara I was calling to tell you that Nick will be at your place around 6 this evening to pick Catherine, Lindsey and you up. Is that okay?" :_

"That is wonderful; I'm looking forward to it. See you then, bye bye!"

_: "Bye Sara, and once again sorry for waking you up." : _

I chuckle; "Warrick, don't worry about that, I had to get up anyway. Catherine will be home soon with Lindsey." I smile and push the button to disconnect the phone. I lie back into the soft cushions; as thoughts float through my mind.

Hot water rushes down my naked body; the heat is filling the air when I hear the door open behind me. The door closes as quickly as it opened. Seconds later the sliding door opens and Catherine's naked body pushes into mine before she closes the sliding door behind her. Catherine's arms wrap around my body; both of her hands protectively resting on my belly. Her lips touch my skin right between my shoulder blades. "Hi sweetie!"

"Hi babe, I missed you when I woke up."

"I know, I had to pick Lindsey up from school. And I wanted to let you sleep for a little while; you looked so tired when we got home."

"Do you know how much I love you?" I ask Catherine.

"Hmm, I might have an idea but why don't you show me, beautiful?" I turn around in her arms and look deeply into her eyes. I lean in and kiss Catherine, our lips are barely touching; but the feeling is mind blowing. It is as if nothing else exists besides us here and now this moment.

"First you have to tell me where Linds is."

"She is downstairs doing homework I hope. That is what I told her to do because she won't have much time because we have plans already. But knowing her she is probably taking her chance and watching television." Catherine chuckled, knowing her daughter better then Lindsey thought she did.

"Sweetie, just knowing that she was downstairs was more them enough info for me." I answered smiling back at Catherine.

"I locked the door behind me." Catherine answered with a smug smile.

"Mmm … that is even better!" I say as I lean in and kiss Catherine softly on her lips. My arms wrap around Catherine's frail frame. I hold her close to me; well as close as possible nowadays. Catherine looks up at me; she brushes my hair behind my ears while the water runs down my back. I pull Catherine closer to me under the beam of the water and kiss her tenderly. "You had it all planned out, didn't you?"

"Ah," Catherine said nodding her head. "you just know me too well." Catherine nodded her head in mock shock but was unable to contain her laughter.

"Well honey, remember the day you put the ring on my finger? That was the day we promised to share the rest of our life together and knowing each other is part of that."

"Mmmm … I might remember something like that, ah oh no sorry … that was another day." Catherine said; the words had barely left her mouth when I swatted her. She squealed and looked at me hurt. "Now what did you do that for?"

"Catherine Willows, you are a tease you know that!" I pouted; "Don't ever say that you don't know where Lindsey got that mean streak from; because you damn well know the answer to that question!"

"Well I think that I might be guilty on those charges but don't tell Linds that it would give her one hell of an excuse." Catherine laughed again. "And besides that you have to look at this situation as a warning!"

"A warning? Why is that?"

"Well, we might not want to make the same mistake with this little one." Catherine said as her hand made a trail down my skin until it rested on my belly.

"True, but then we better keep Greg away from our child. I mean given that he never seems to be serious."

"Speaking about co-workers we should better get showered and dressed so that I can send Lindsey up here to get showered and dressed. Because we have to leave soon."

"Actually, Warrick called and said that we don't have to drive. Nick will be here to pick us up around six." I explained to Catherine; "Sorry, I forgot to mention it earlier." I smiled; "I kind of got distracted when I saw my beautiful wife standing in front of me naked. Sorry, black out!" I smiled apologetically.

Catherine blushed; "Well, you are actually not the only one who forgot to tell something. Greg called me and asked if it was okay if he brought Joanie with him because he thought that she belonged to the in-crowd as well because we always saw him as in-crowd when he was just the DNA-lab tech." Catherine started laughing; "So then I asked him if he wanted to invite Bobby, Archie and Jacqui as well because after all they are lab techs as well. So he fell silent for a while, so I kinda took my chance and asked him how his girlfriend was. At first he wanted to say that he didn't have a girlfriend but he started stammering on his words until he finally asked me how long I had known."

"What did you tell him?" I asked Catherine who picked up the bottle of shower gel and spread the content on her hands. She instructed me to turn around and rubbed the shower gel on my back, while she gave me a gentle back massage.

"I told him that relationships in a work environment never really work." Catherine said with an innocent smile.

"You are so mean! You know that!" I said pouting.

Ow sweetie I am just kidding with you of course I didn't say that to him. I told him that you and I where very happy for him and Joanie and that we hoped that they where really happy together. After all that is all that matters. He was surprised that we had even noticed him and Joanie on the 4th of July party because according to him we where only interested in each other. Anyways I told him that I was very happy for him and that Joanie could come with us if she wanted too. He sounded like a child on Christmas day that finally got that long awaited present. You should have heard him, it was so funny when he screamed at Joanie that she could come too."

I laughed, I could picture exactly how that phone call went. Catherine trying her best to hold her laughter while she was teasing Greg; and Greg who's face made every possible expression known to mankind.

"Lindsey, get up here and get showered and dressed. Nick will be here in an hour." Catherine shouted down the stairs. Seconds later Lindsey ran up the stairs and disappeared into her room. Seconds later she slammed the door open again and ran into the bathroom like a true whirlwind. The bathroom door slammed behind her and the shower was turned on.

Catherine turned around in the door opening and raised her brow. I smiled at her as I picked out some clothes to wear. Catherine was leaning against the doorframe; watching my every move. I picked out black slacks along with my black leather boots and a dark red blouse. I feel Catherine's gaze on my skin; my heart is pounding and my breath hitches knowing that she is looking at me. I decide to quickly get dressed before I let her or her gaze persuade me into other things.

"What time is it?" I ask casually trying to get my mind on some other thoughts.

Nick parked the car in front of our house and got out. Lindsey ran to the door and quickly opened it. "Hi Nicky!" She screamed down the lawn. "Cath, honey I believe that Nick just arrived!" I said with a smirk to Catherine who took her coat from. I waited in the door opening for Catherine. She passed me but not before she quickly stopped and kissed me tenderly; "I love you!" She whispered sending me one of those beautiful smiles that light up her whole face.


	28. The dinner

**Chapter 28 **

**The dinner**

Nick parked the car in front of one of the popular establishments in Las Vegas. Warrick was already standing in front of the door when a Valet took over the keys to the car to drive it down to the parking space. Warrick and Grissom where already waiting for us. Soon Greg and Joanie came walking down the sidewalk; hand in hand.

As we entered the establishment we where pointed to a table in the back. As we all sat down I asked Nick how they arranged a table in this popular place in such short notice. "Oh one of Warrick's best friends is the chef here. So all he had to do was pull some strings." Nick answered my question.

Soon everyone was engaged in small talk. Greg and Joanie where totally consumed in each other; it was so cute to see how different he can be when he is with a girl. Greg has so many sides to himself it is almost unbelievable. He can be the funny guy who can drive you mad. But also the sweet and caring guy when you need it. A waitress brought our drinks; and left again. At that point Warrick got up and indicated that he wanted to say something. He raised his glass and waited till everyone looked at him.

"Catherine, Sara and Lindsey, I know that we already said it but we wanted to congratulate you once again and we bought a little gift for you, something that you can already use and might even need." Warrick picked up a blue and pinkish wrapped gift. I unwrapped the gift, and I smiled when I saw what the gift was. It was a book with baby names, along with the descriptions and origins.

"Thanks we can defiantly use this; actually we haven't even talked about names. Have we?" I asked Catherine, even though I was pretty sure that we hadn't yet.

"Well maybe you don't have to either, we took the liberty to point out some names that we really like."

Catherine started laughing; "Well let me guess? Gilbert, Gregory, Nicholas?" She said as she quickly scanned the pages. At that moment a piece of paper fell out of the book. She picked it up and before she opened it she added; "And this note probably explains what the name Warrick means, doesn't it? Because his name; most likely isn't in the book."

All the guys looked back at us as if they where caught only Grissom looked surprised; which made it obvious that he had no idea what was going on. At that point Catherine unfolded the piece of paper and read the words on it. She had been right all along. "You guys are so predictable!" She exclaimed as she showed Lindsey and me the piece of paper.

"Well we didn't only highlight our names, Joanie, Jacqui, Archie, Bobby, Al and David are in there as well." Nick said as he 'high fived' Greg.

"And Greg was the one who came up with the idea? Right?" I asked; the second I said it Greg's face dropped and turned a dark shade of red.

"Yes I am guilty of that! But they thought it was an awesome idea even when I said that I had only been joking!" Greg said as a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar pointing towards Warrick and Nick. Who both acted as if it had been Greg's idea all along; but both looking so guilty at the same time.

"As much as we like your input on names, I think that we can manage this on our own. But we could use some help in some other departments?" Catherine said to the guys.

"Sure what do you need?" Nick answered Catherine's question.

"Sara and I talked about a couple of things together which are important to us. Obviously we are women, but we would like to ask you all if you want to be 'the male role models'. We really see you all as family and we hope that you will all be a part of our family." I said to the guys; I held Catherine's hand in mine; her fingers entwined in mine.

"I would be honoured to be a part of this extraordinary family." Warrick said, as Nick and Greg nodded agreeing with him.

"There is also something else Sara and I wanted to ask you."

"I knew that there was a catch!" Greg exclaimed in his boyish way; which made everyone laugh.

"Ah Greg you should know by now there is always a reason. No we are just kidding; but there is something we wanted to ask you. Don't feel obliged but we also wanted to ask you all if you could give us a hand. We want to change some things in the house before the baby arrives and we could use some men." Catherine added; "Lindsey's room is next to ours and we want to change that into the baby's room because it is closest to our room. And we don't want her to wake up every time the baby wakes up. So that would mean that Lindsey is moving down the hallway to the office. And we where wondering if you guys could help us out."

"Wow! Mom does that mean that I can decorate the room however I want it!" Lindsey asked as she tried to get Catherine's attention.

"I can bring my aerosols with me from my graffiti spraying punk days!" Greg said with a smug smile.

"Greg you are so not helping!" Catherine reprimanded Greg with a smile.

"Yes sweetie, within reason of course!" Lindsey thought for a few seconds before she started smiling. "Hey but the computer is in there where will the computer go?"

Catherine rolled with her eyes, making everyone laugh. "We'll talk about that later."

"I'll help you out, just tell me when you need the help and I'll be there." Nick said with a smile.

"Thanks Nick!" Catherine and I both said in unison.

"Well anything you need you can ask me, I can bring my aerosols from my graffiti spraying punk days." Greg said shrugging. "You know I was quite the artist back in the days." He added the defending himself when he saw the looks on some of our faces. I will bring the evidence tomorrow to show you but I know how to handle spray-paint and air brushing."

"Why are we even surprised? We are talking about Greg and we could have known that 'that' would be one of the many faces of Greg." Warrick reasons while the others are laughing.

"Yeah yeah, you all laugh now! But I can't wait to see your face when you see some of my creations! Among them are some pretty cool murals if I may say so myself." He says with a mock pout.

"You did murals, what kind of murals for kids?" I asked really interested; as a plan began to form in my head.

"See interested already!" Greg said with a smug smile towards Nick and Warrick. The conversations went on and on until we all paid our part and left the establishment. We where standing outside waiting for the cars to be brought to us by the Valet. Grissom walked up to us; "Catherine can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked as he stepped away a few steps waiting for Catherine to follow. Catherine smiled at me; she leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek. "I'll be right back, sweetie."

**Catherine's POV**

"Catherine, I asked Ecklie to give me two of his employees for the night. If you want you can take the rest of the evening off. Maybe take your girls to the movies or something." Grissom said with a sincere smile; in a very un-Grissom like way. I know how difficult it must have been for Grissom to ask Ecklie for a favour so I take his offer with a smile.

"Thanks Gil; that is just what we need." I say as I lean in and hug him.

We both turn around and take the few steps back to the others; I wrap my arms around Sara. She smiles; looking at me expectantly? "What's going on?"

Fifteen minutes later we where waiting in the line to get into the movie theatre. Lindsey asked if she could have popcorn, I gave her some money and she stormed off to the counter while we where waiting for her to return.

The three of us took a seat in the back of the theatre; the screen lit up and the lights went out. Sara eased herself into the seat and leaned her head down on my shoulder. My hand was absently running up and down her thigh as I watched the movie.


End file.
